First post

This is my first post.

I'm in lust!

Wednesday at 10PM The Great Biker Build-Off with Billy Lane will be on. Be sure to set your DVR, so you can drool with me over Billy.

destructive much?

Tater is driving me crazy. The other day he tried to do pull ups on the towel rack in the bathroom. Towel racks are made to hold thing like wet towels not growing boys. Needless to say, the bathroom is now with out a towel rack. And there are 4 large holes that are going to require putty, sanding and paint. GRRRRRRRRRR!

Yesterday, we were in the van. I was driving along minding my own business. Singing along with the radio, when I heard a loud snap. I looked over at Tater, who was holding the sun visor in his lap. He gave me the 'what, I didn't do anything' look. Then he said matter of factly, "I thought it was suppose to come off."

This caused me to have bad 'I want to hurt my child' thoughts. Luckily, I was driving, and was able to count to 1,000 to cool off. He is now grounded for 2 weeks, and must sit in the back seat of the van until further notice.

Sappy email

I was reading another military wifes blog. Which I thought I blogrolled, but can't find now. She had an entry where she posted an email from her husband. It was so sweet and sappy. It almost brought tears to my eyes. He spoke of how he watches the sun come up and the warmth makes him think of her. How he missed her and can't wait to embrace her again.

At that point I was feeling rather sad. I decided to reread the last email DH sent me. Here is his version of sappy. LOL Have I mentioned yet that DH is trying to bring about an 80's slang revival?

hello dope wife,

so how the hell are you? im tired and hot. its frickin hot here.

i think im going to let my hair grow out. just the top. so i can flip it back and
look cool. i cant wait to get home to bang you. i will give it to you daily
just for you of course. i am so ready to go home and not even come back.
well i guess im done bitching. i will try to catch you on im.

i love you and miss you.

love,
your frickin hot husband

ps send p0rn.

Frances

Sadly, Frances is headed directly toward Florida. My heart goes out to those that are suffering great loses due to this fierce storm.

However, the evil in-laws were to be in Florida to board a Disney cruise to the Bahamas. Since the weather is anything but nice, they will be unable to go. Normally under these circumstance I would feel very bad that someone is losing a great deal of money. Instead I am feeling a bit of smug satisfaction, all the while thinking that this is karma's way of paying Marie back.

I've changed my name.

Crazy bitch is so over used. So now I'm snarky tattooed heathen. My nick name of choice on the forums. I'm debating on whether or not I should add, esteemed troublemaker.

WOO HOO!

And the good news is.....

1. DH has been given a date for leave. He gets to come home for 2 weeks. During that time, I will not be available for blogging, phone conversations or even a quick IM. At this point in time the date is "top secret". Not even the children know, for fear that Marie will find out. If that happens, I will be forced to open a can of whoop ass.

2. Kevin Smith loves me.

Now to answer the questions that are on everyones mind.

Yes, due to all this good news I am wearing a big goofy grin. :)

Yes, Tater and I are very excited. We will be seeing The Passion of the Clerks in the theater.

Dear comment troll.

You are fucked in the head!

Signed,

A peanut butter loving atheist

I'm so pretty!

The younger two were playing in their room. When an eary quiteness fell upon me. I immedietly sensed that something was wrong. So I crept down the hall, and what did I see. Fang in a dress and pretty pink shoes. LOL

Here he is modeling his new look atop the toy box.

Shick Intuition Razor

Since I am a new product junkie, I had to try the Intuition. When I first saw the ad I thought was a marvelous idea. In my real life application (IE my shower) it wasn't as nice as I had hoped. The intuition has a large hard deodorant like substance around the razor, making it quite awkward to use. It did make my legs look nice and soft. But dammit, I ended up with nicks all over my knees. Now my pretty smooth legs aren't looking too hot. Therefore, I would not recommend the intuition. Unless you think nicks are sexy. ;)

Where's the milk?

Now that Fang is in a toddler bed. He can roam around the house when he wakes. However, normally he comes to my room first. Not today. Instead he made his way to the kitchen. Where he pushed a chair up to the the cabinet. Where he helped himself to some NesQuick. YUM!

My weekend

I finally figured out how to work the theme editor. As you can see, I've been having fun with that.

I watched Big Brother 5. Which brings me to. How can you tell if you are a good kisser or not? Doesn't another person have to be the judge of that? Apparently not, if your Drew or Diane. They both claim to be good kissers. Yet they each claim the other one is not a good kisser.

The fucktard called me. In the middle of the night, no less. Was he concerned with my well being? No. Did he call to tell me that he missed my smiling face? No. Did he call because he was having a crisis and just needed a shoulder to cry on? No. He called because he has my phone number. He was bored, and if he called anyone else that he knows. The live close enough to kick his ass. I however, live several states away.

I won't complain too much. It did give me a good laugh. Him with his girly voice, begging for attention.

I have misplaced my brain

It was a lazy Thursday afternoon. Some where in central TX, a stressed out mom (SOM) of three glances at the clock. It reads 3:30.

Bad words were uttered. Much scrambling took place to get shoes on kids, and kids in van. Driving was swift until... Evil cell phone driver pulled in front of SOM's van. Invisible dagger were shooting out SOM eyes. "Die cell phone driver. Die." was spoken aloud.

A few minutes later this van pulls into a parking lot. SOM gets out of said van. Dragging 3 unwilling children behind her. They enter an unassuming building. SOM quickly get the older 2 children seated, SOM saunters up to the receptionist desk. Slaps down her ID down like it's nobodies business. Then states in her best grown up voice. "I'm here for an appointment at 3:50 for the wee one."

Receptionist glares at SOM. In her best I'm bored with my day job voice says, "You're late. Your appointment was, um let me see. Yes, here it is, your appointment was at 2:30."

SOM is thinking goddammit. Instead, still using her grown up voice she says, "Can I reschedule?"

"I'm afraid not. You need to go home and call the appointment line."

Tomorrow will be better. Wont' it?

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It's a lovely, warm Friday morning. SOM informs oldest child that she will be picking him up from school mid-day for his orthodontist appointment.

"Cool. Can we go out to lunch too?" Over enthusiastic 10 year old exclaims.

"Yeah." distracted SOM says.

10 AM rolls around. SOM and 2/3 of her tribe arrive at school. SOM fills out several papers that were sent home yet never returned. OOPS! 10 year old arrives in office looking rather happy considering the orthodontist appointment.

SOM and children load into van. Make the trek to the next town to the orthodontist office. Strangely the parking lot wasn't as full as usual. The clock in the van is flashing 10:38. SOM tells 10 yr old to run ahead inside and sign in so as not to be late. She would join him in the waiting area after unloading the others. Half way through that task. 10yr old opens van door and exclaims, "the door is locked."

Exasperated, SOM vents "What the hell? I clearly asked to come to this office, not the office in Temple. Why are they not here?"

While muttering under her breath, SOM begins to dig through wallet to get phone number for very rude orthodontist. SOM finds the appointment card. In large easy to read blue letters it very clearly stated.

Appointment 11:20 Tuesday August 24 ,2004

Now SOM is in a rather bad mood. Twice in two consecutive days, she has messed up appointments. Not to mention unknowingly agreed to take children to Taco Bell for lunch.

I'm charming

WOW. I just reread my last blog entry. It was badly written. Not that I'm good at this or anything, but it was beyond bad. I had missing words, and odd sentences. I fixed it a little. Then I got aggravated and said, "Fuck it. I am not fixing this. It's part of my charm." heh

Regardless of how weirdly written my entires are. Please be assured that I do not sit at the computer all day sipping on rum. Letting the kidlets run wild through the house. Although that's not an entirely bad idea.

Lunch was delicious.

I am a procrastinator. Because of this, I have yet to buy Tater a lunch box. I have also not purchased paper lunch bags, sandwich bags, drinks, snacks or anything else that can possibly be taken to school for lunch. Since I'm such a softie, I couldn't stand to see one of my children starve. So I gave Tater lunch money. Panic. Where is the menu? We do not have a menu. Panic! Pace. Mumble. "What if they serve something that I hate? What if they serve some kind of weird food that I won't eat? What if they make me drink something gross, like *gasp* diet Coke?" LOL

He worries far too much. I assured him that he would not be forced to drink diet Coke. And that lunch would most likely be something that he likes. After school on Monday, lunch wasn't discussed. He did assure me that he didn't starve between breakfast and lunch. He was worried that he would have to eat lunch later in the day which would cause him to come close to starving. This is why I was shocked when he came home yesterday. As soon as he walked in the door. He immediately started telling me how deliciously wonderful lunch was. He had a cheese burger with ketchup, some fries and a chocolate milk. I was informed that is wasn't just any cheese burger, "Mom, it was delicious, better even than the ones that you make with the buns that have seeds on them."

It has been a while since I was in school. But I can clearly remember how deliciously wonderful school lunches were not. So I'm asking, is this a sign that school lunches have improved, or a sign that my child has been far too sheltered from the wonders of processed food?

Book review

I can't really review this as of yet. Since I haven't finished reading it. I was sucked into the DaVinci Code hype. Which wasn't that great. I then read Angels & Demons, which was IMO much better. Since I liked that one so well, I decided to try another. So far this book has been slow, but the story is building. Once it dries, I will finish reading it.

Feel free to ignore this. I'm just playing around with some of the newer features.

First day of school

First day in a long time that I've been up before the sun. I hopped in the shower. Quickly showered because I had plans. I wake up Tater. Before I could leave his room to go wake up Satan and Fang. Satan blurts out, "You don't have to drive me to school today. I want to ride the bus with my friends."

Shock. Horror. He is only going to 5th grade, and he still sleeps with a night light. He's far too young to stop needing me, isn't he? I didn't get a hug or an I love you this morning. How sad is that? He is growing up and gaining independence far too quickly.

At 7 AM, Austin, Chris and Jordan knocked on the door. Tater grabbed his back pack and yelled, "bye mom. See you after school."

Much to his displeasure, I followed him outside. Sadly, I watched them walk to the bus stop.

Before I know it, he will be going to high school. :(

School starts on Monday

Last night was meet the teacher night. Tater has 4 teachers. This means he gets to change classes. They also get real lockers with combination locks. Tater is very excited about this. Tater's best friend A is also in the same group. A's mother and I believe that this may lead to a problem. Last year they were in the same class and they got into trouble a few times for talking and clowning.

I am aggravated because I came away with very little information. There were too many people vying for the teachers attention. This made it impossible for me to ask all the questions that I wanted to ask.This means that I will have to make phone calls. I hate making phone calls. I stand firm in my belief that all things of importance to me should be on the Internet. Therefore I can peruse the information at my leisure. Now to get the rest of the world to come to my way of thinking.

Good news is that I'm almost caught up on my blog reading. If everyone could take a short break until further notice that would be great. ;)

I'm back part 2

Have I mentioned that the Dallas airport is huge? It seems even larger when you are loaded down with a stroller, a car seat, a diaper bag, and 3 sick children. Since the kidlets claimed they were starving to death, we walked instead of taking the train. We stopped at McDonald's where I purchased over priced food that no one would eat.

I hoped that the two hour layover would be enough time for the kids to run off some energy so they would sit still and behave on the plane. It made them tired, but not in a good way. Instead of falling peacefully to sleep once the plane took off. They whined and cried.

Satan had herself so worked up that she was gagging. She was making throw up noises, but not actually throwing up. Which isn't enough to make me sick, but the poor guy behind us did not look well. This very short 46 minute flight felt like it lasted an eternity.

We arrived in Killeen, however to the new international airport. Which is the not the airport that we flew out of. Tatter immediately panics and thinks that we are in the wrong city. Instead of talking Tater through his mild panic attack, I snapped at him. I feel so bad, now.

Satan demanded that I carry her. Now. At first I tried to explain calmly that I couldn't because my hands were full. This was not the answer that she was looking for. So she sat down in the floor and yelled, "Mommy, carry me. My legs are broken." I said in a very mean voice, "you have two good legs. Use them."

Barbie was waiting for us at baggage claim. I am very thankful that she was there. I would have had a melt down if it wasn't for her help.

The next day, I had to take a very sick Satan to the doctor. My poor baby had a sinus infection and both ears were infected. She looked so pitiful, especially with the snot oozing out her eyes and noes. Thankfully, she is feeling much better now.

I'm back

The trip home was hellacious. All three of the kidlets decided to get sick right before we were to leave. Just minor cold like symptoms nothing that a little cold medicine wouldn't help, or so I ignorantly thought.

Late Monday evening, Satan started running a low grade fever. She was refusing Motrin, and I didn't want to fight with her. So I didn't push the issue. We went to bed, staying up later than we should have because I was trying to round up all our belongings. At some point during the middle of the night, Satan awoke with a high fever and a bit delusional. She went and woke up Grandma, by slapping Grandma on the face. So very thoughtful of her. Satan was worried about her baby. Grandma searched high and low for the misplaced doll. Luckily the doll was found, and Motrin was administered.

Later that morning, Satan awoke again. This time she woke me up so we could go home. She had brushed her hair, and put her shoes on the wrong feet. Had her back pack on, and a baby in her arms. By this point she was in a hurry to get back to TX. While I showered, she sat on the toilet repeatedly telling me to hurry so we don't miss our plane.

Finally we get to the airport, and Satan practically runs through the airport. At this point she cannot wait to go home. Sadly she was under the impression that DH would be here when we got back. The first flight wasn't too bad. All three kids slept. I wanted to take a nap, but a motor mouth (MM) was sitting just in front of me on the other side of the aisle. MM told everyone with in ear shot that her husband was 6'4". He had blue eyes. He likes to golf. Her youngest looks just like him, that's what we were told anyway. She told how much money he makes, how long it had been since they last had sex. It's official I am a chit chat freak magnet.

To be continued.......