Snoop Dog Style

I love Snoop Dogg. So I'm am giving you the oportunity to view my blog Snoop Dogg style.

Here is yesterdays entry in Snoop Dogg fashion. heh

Are yo' ass frisky?

I had go get a new ID card n' shit. Not a chore I wuz looking forward , but that shiznit had be done, know what I'm sayin'? I knew I would be sitting in a waiting room fo' far longer than 3 kids would enjoy n' shit.

I hate going on post." Because I am such a dumbass I always decide go when that shiznit's busy, like right after lunch n' shit. Which means, I had sit in a long ass line n' shit. Then flash my 'bout expire ID card just get on post, know what I'm sayin'? I finally get on post, 'n locate da place that I need be, know what I'm sayin'? Wouldn't yo' ass know that shiznit, da parking lot wuz full, know what I'm sayin'? I had drive around fo' 10 minutes just find a place park n' shit. All that time Satan is talking non-stop, 'n I'm trying not scream, know what I'm sayin'?

"Mommy, is this where my daddy works?"

"Yes, when tha dude is crib, this is where Daddy works." "

"Mommy, I see my daddy over there, know what I'm sayin'? "

"No yo' ass don't. Your Daddy is in Iraq." "

"Mommy, are we in Iraq?"

"No n' shit. We are in Texas, know what I'm sayin'? "

"Mommy, why are we in Texas?'

"Because we live here." "

"Mommy, why do we live in TX." " I think I let out a scream at this point, know what I'm sayin'?

Of course da only parking space that I could find wuz izzall da way at da end of da row n' shit. I had walk a long way wit three kidlets, in this miserable TX heat." Good thing I remembered bring da stroller." Once inside, things started looking up because I wuz da first in line, know what I'm sayin'? How could things go wrong now? I has bad luck, that's how, know what I'm sayin'?

Why can't these things ever be simple? I don't has a power of attorney, but I do has a copy of da orders." I wuz told that this wuz izzall that wuz needed, 'n that shiznit would be easy 'n painless n' shit. I wuz lied , know what I'm sayin'?

I get up da desk, 'n da first thing I am asked is, "Do yo' ass has a copy of yo' power of attorney?"

"No, I wuz told that shiznit wasn't needed." "

"We usually require a power of attorney n' shit. "

"There ain't much I can do 'bout that, as yo' ass can see from da orders my husband is in Iraq n' shit. "

"Yes, I can see that, but a POA is required, know what I'm sayin'? "

I am cursing under my breath at this point, know what I'm sayin'? And 'bout 15 muthas has already been give numbers 'n told sit down 'n wait, know what I'm sayin'? This means that I am no longer first, 'n izzall da seats in da waiting area are full, know what I'm sayin'? GRRRRRRRR! Finally, I am given a paper fill out, 'n told wait n' shit. Someone will call my name shortly, know what I'm sayin'? After waiting fo' an eternity, 'n never hearing my name called n' shit. I go up da front desk ax if I am going be afiable get my ID today, know what I'm sayin'? Because my name has yet be called." I wuz quickly informed that they never call out names, they go by numbers." So now I am given a number, which once again puts me at da end of da line n' shit. I hate waiting n' shit. I hate that shiznit n' shit. I hate that shiznit." I hate that shiznit n' shit.

This time while I'm waiting, I am assaulted wit stupidity." Staff Sgt, know what I'm sayin'? Fuckhead sits down beside me, 'n suddenly tha dude is over taken wit a dumbass attack n' shit. Which causes tha dude's ass touch Fang n' shit. Fang is mama's boy, 'n tha dude does not allow strangers touch tha dude's ass, know what I'm sayin'? So tha dude screams at da top of tha dude's lungs, which causes everyone stare, know what I'm sayin'? It also prompts a nosey old bat ax me, "yo' ass 'n yo' husband gots be frisky?" Huh? What da hell kind of person ax a stranger that?

I just looked at her like brizzle had 3 heads, know what I'm sayin'? Which is apparently hella similar my 'please continue annoy da hell out of me' look." So brizzle kept talking, "What, is there 9 or 10 months between yo' shorties?" I be like, "Um no, know what I'm sayin'? It's really none of yo' business, but due da extra large size of da wee one." I can easily see how yo' ass would jump that hella wrong conclusion." Satan is three 'n a half, while Fang is only 15 months old." "

Even after my rude explanation, which should has shut her up, know what I'm sayin'? She kept on talking n' shit. I hate stupid muthas."

Shortly after that my number wuz called, know what I'm sayin'? I only had sit there fo' two hours get a ID card that expired Feb 17, 2005. At which point, I am supposed use my handy dandy teleporter get DH from Iraq TX n' shit. Because tha dude's presence is needed at da ID office n' shit. UGH!

Are you frisky?

I had to go get a new ID card. Not a chore I was looking forward to, but it had to be done. I knew I would be sitting in a waiting room for far longer than 3 kids would enjoy.

I hate going on post. Because I am such a dumbass I always decide to go when it's busy, like right after lunch. Which means, I had to sit in a long ass line. Then flash my about to expire ID card just to get on post. I finally get on post, and locate the place that I need to be. Wouldn't you know it, the parking lot was full. I had to drive around for 10 minutes just to find a place to park. All that time Satan is talking non-stop, and I'm trying not to scream.

"Mommy, is this where my daddy works?"

"Yes, when he is home, this is where Daddy works."

"Mommy, I see my daddy over there."

"No you don't. Your Daddy is in Iraq."

"Mommy, are we in Iraq?"

"No. We are in Texas."

"Mommy, why are we in Texas?'

"Because we live here."

"Mommy, why do we live in TX." I think I let out a scream at this point.

Of course the only parking space that I could find was all the way at the end of the row. I had to walk a long way with three kidlets, in this miserable TX heat. Good thing I remembered to bring the stroller. Once inside, things started looking up because I was the first in line. How could things go wrong now? I have bad luck, that's how.

Why can't these things ever be simple? I don't have a power of attorney, but I do have a copy of the orders. I was told that this was all that was needed, and it would be easy and painless. I was lied to.

I get up to the desk, and the first thing I am asked is, "Do you have a copy of your power of attorney?"

"No, I was told it wasn't needed."

"We usually require a power of attorney."

"There isn't much I can do about that, as you can see from the orders my husband is in Iraq."

"Yes, I can see that, but a POA is required."

I am cursing under my breath at this point. And about 15 people have already been give numbers and told to sit down and wait. This means that I am no longer first, and all the seats in the waiting area are full. GRRRRRRRR! Finally, I am given a paper to fill out, and told to wait. Someone will call my name shortly. After waiting for an eternity, and never hearing my name called. I go up to the front desk to ask if I am going to be able to get my ID today. Because my name has yet to be called. I was quickly informed that they never call out names, they go by numbers. So now I am given a number, which once again puts me at the end of the line. I hate waiting. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

This time while I'm waiting, I am assaulted with stupidity. Staff Sgt. Fuck-head sits down beside me, and suddenly he is stricken with a dumbass attack. Which causes him to reach out and touch Fang. Fang is a mama's boy, and he does not sit by and allow strangers to touch him. Instead he screams at the top of his lungs. This causes everyone in the waiting area to turn in my direction and stare. It also prompts a nosey old bat to ask me, "you and your husband must be frisky?" Huh? That is what I was thinking, but I did not say it. Because I was speechless.

I looked at her like she had 3 heads. Which is apparently very similar to my 'please, continue to annoy the hell out of me' look. So she kept talking, "What, is there 9 or 10 months between your children?" When I found my voice I said, "Um no. It's really none of your business, but due to the extra large size of the wee one. I can easily see how you would jump to that very wrong conclusion. Satan is three and a half, while Fang is only 15 months old."

Even after my rude explanation, which should have shut her up. She kept on talking. I hate stupid people.

Shortly after my encounter with the whacks, my number was called. Lucky me! I only had to sit there for two hours to get a ID card that expired Feb 17, 2005. At which point, I guess I am supposed to use my handy dandy teleporter to get DH from Iraq to TX. Because his presence is needed at the ID office. UGH!

I'm living the Beverly Hillbillies

My next door neighbors, Linda and Gary, have bought a much larger and nicer pool than ours. Because their grandsons are coming to visit this summer, and they want to spoil them like all grandparents do.

Satan Elly Mae was being her usual nosy self and was watching the neighbors out the window. When she noticed the pool construction. She started yelling, "Holy cwap, mommy. Strangers are putting up a big pond." Yes, she calls the neighbors strangers.

Anyway, we have lived her almost a year now, and Satan Elly Mae has always pretended to be shy around Linda. Until just the other day after noticing the pool. Satan Elly Mae has now decided that Linda is her new best friend, but she isn't going to be bothered with calling her Linda. And apparently the name Stranger no longer fits. So yesterday when we were out watering the flowers, Satan Elly Mae spied Linda in her back yard. Satan Elly Mae runs over to the fence and yells, "Hey Gwanny! Can I swim in your pond? Pwease?"

The only thing missing from this story is the part where I went out back and shot up some bubblin' crude, oil that is. Black Gold! Texas tea!

Dysfunctional Barbie

Which dysfunctional Barbie are you? Gangsta Bitch Barbie You're an aspiring rapper who stands by your homies. You won't hesitate to beat down anyone who gets in your way and your best friend is your Glock.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

I ended my day with Fox news.

I made some very yummy Dreamsicle cookies. Thank you snap-ah for the recipe. I am now addicted. This time I made them with dark chocolate chips. Yummy!

Thanks to Roni's advice. I hung plastic bad filled with water on my patio to keep the flies away.

I watched Geraldo. No, really I did, but I had a good reason. It was live from Camp Cook in Taji, Iraq. That's where DH is. And it was with DH's unit on the show. How could I not watch that? I knew DH wouldn't be on, and he wasn't. I figured he would find a way to get out of it. He did, get out of it that is. He wanted to work instead. He has camera issues.

I was going to add a link about Camp Cook, but after looking at the 5th or 6th obituary page. I stopped looking for a decent link. Such a terrible tragedy this has became. Enough of that. Happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts!

Back to my story. Satan was so excited. She wanted to see her daddy on TV. She thinks that any one in an Army uniform is her daddy. Literally anyone. Our conversation went like this.

Satan- Look, mommy that's my daddy.
me- No, that's not your daddy.
Satan-Ummmm, that is my daddy.
me-No, that is a woman.
Satan- Mommy, yes. That one is my daddy.
me- I give up. I will agree that that woman is your daddy, if you promise to be quite.
Satan- Mommy, you so crazy. My daddy's not a girl.

John you will be missed.

John, a dear friend, and the most wonderful person passed away peacefully at his home on Saturday. He had suffered for the past few years with cancer, and the treatment. I am sad for Jane, his parents and his daughter.

One of my favorite memories of John.

John collected t-shirts. He claimed that he had a t-shirt for every occasion. Being the smart ass that I am, I was on a mission to prove him wrong. I was always asking him silly questions like "do you have a t-shirt for arbor day?" No matter what the occasion the answer was always yes. I finally asked him if he had a t-shirt to celebrate my birthday. Sadly, he did not. This gave me a brilliant idea.

A few days before my birthday, I set out on a mission to make John a Happy Birthday Crazybitch t-shirt. I wasn't going to make any t-shit. No, what I was going to make was the world's most hideous t-shirt. I bought a t-shirt, iron on transfers and iron on letters. I took the worst possible picture of myself that I could find. I used a photo editing program to add a huge feather head dress. Then I blew it up to 8x10. This made a very ugly picture of me even uglier. I was so proud. I ironed this monstrosity onto the front of the shirt. Then I put Happy Birthday Crazybitch on the back. Now John truly would have a t-shirt for every occasion.

The next day I was laughing like the crazy woman that I am, when I gave him the t-shirt. Telling him that he now had a t-shirt for every occasion. He didn't seem overly impressed. Oh no my t-shirt was not funny. I felt like a failure.

Later that evening we (a small group of friends and I) went out for dinner and drinks to celebrate my birthday. John showed up wearing my fugly t-shirt. Seeing this caused me to roll with laughter. We ate. We drank. We laughed at my ugly face. We laughed at John for wearing the most hideous t-shirt in the history of t-shirts. We laughed at CJ for throwing up on her shoes. We laughed a lot that night.

Later, when I enquired if the t-shirt was going to be worn each year on the most special of days(my birthday). John told me that my face had washed off, and the t-shirt was ruined. :( I think he was lying because he was secretly using my t-shirt to keep the mice out of his basement.

And that is one of my favorite memories of John.

I have blog envy.

I want a cool blog. Something like any of these or this and I want a photo blog.

If I had a cool blog theme, what would it be? I imagine a Wonder woman theme. Because I'm a wonderful woman, and when I was a kid I wanted to be wonder woman. Remember underoos? I had wonder woman underoos. They made me cool, or so I thought at the time. I loved them so so much. I would put them on, then I would run through the house spinning in circles. I also use to jump off the couch and try to "fly" when I watched Fame, but I was a very odd child.

Or I could have a turtle theme. I like turtles. Hell, I had one tattooed on my leg. I think this means I really like turtles. I could do a Hawaiian, sea turtle, flip flop theme. But since I now live in Texas, that would somehow be wrong.

For now I will settle on my little flower picture. I took that picture. Isn't it pretty? I don't know what it is. I planted red dahlia bulbs that I bought at Lowes. But they grew into flowers that look like purple and white daisies. Much prettier than the red dahlias that I thought I planted.

Check this out. Looks like my dreams have finally come true.

The braces are on.

Tater is now officially a metal mouth. See the big grin. He is so happy. He informed me that he is now cool. Silly kidlet.

He is becoming super viligent about brushing. He has brushed his teeth 3 times since we have been home. He has also decided to become soda free. He has informed me that soda is bad for his teeth.

I should have had braces put on him sooner. ;)

The pond

The kidlets now have a pool. We spent all day getting the pool up and filled with water. It shouldn't have taken all day, but I had 3 very eager helpers.

Tater is only semi-impressed with the pool. He thinks we should have gone bigger. I think not. Fang only mildly enjoys it because he slipped and his head went under. That shook him up. Satan is in love. She has repeatadly told me, "Mommy, I love my pond." That's right she says pond. This is why I have taken to calling her Ellie Mae. But I think I will stop. DH informed me that if I continue to call Satan, Ellie Mae. He will begin calling me Granny. That's not funny.

See the kidlets playing in the pool here. I'm too lazy to upload the pics one at a time here. So you must click on the link to view them.

Leave

I am so happy yet so grouchy today. I stayed up late because I couldn't sleep. I only got about an hour of sleep in when DH called. We talked until his phone card ran out. After he was able to use the computers and we chatted on line for a while. He was lucky and got to use a computer with a web cam. I was able to check him out. He was looking good with his fresh hair cut.

For a while it was rumored that leave was not going to be granted due to all the unrest in the area. Now that things are looking better. His unit has started authorizing leave. He has put in his leave request for the end of October. He gets 15 days of leave. YAY! It will take him 4-5 days to get from there to here. The best part is that his leave won't start until he arrives here in TX. I'm already looking forward.

We made a pact that we will not breath a word of this to his family. I have to keep it a secret from Tater because he will let it slip. You will see my mug shot on the nightly news if Marie shows up at my house when DH is on leave.

And the reason I can catch him on line several times a week, yet he hardly ever calls. Is because the phone center doesn't have a/c. I would be upset that he doesn't call, but I don't want DH to melt.

Braces are damn expensive

This is an update of sorts. Tater's orthodontist appointment went well. The orthodontist was nice and very friendly. Tater definitely needs braces. His over bite is pretty severe. Good news is that our insurance will pay $1500. Bad news is that we have to pay at $2800. I was so not expecting braces to cost that much.

The orthodontist expects that the braces will only be needed for a year, and no extractions are needed.

They put spacers in that day because he is getting his braces on Wednesday. I have to take him back in because last night he popped both spacers out. Of course the kidlets can always be counted on to add some entertainment to any situation. After the orthodontist had a peek in Taters mouth, and took the time to examine the x-rays. He had to speak to me, and fill me in on what was the best course of treatment. As he was talking, he would take the occasional pause. At which point Fang would nod and say "yeht." LOL

A fool and her camera

The fool would be me. I was snapping pics of everything. These exiting the stall shots are my favorite.

I must give a shot out to the Killeen airport, for they keep their restroom very clean. See how the walls sparkle.

Tattoos

This is CJ's tattoo. This pic is a little blurry. I was changing the settings on the camera. Since I haven't yet read the instructions that came with the camera, this picture didn't turn out very well.

This symbol has something to do with Lacuna Coil, and means endless spiral. At least, I think that's what she said. It's on the middle of her back. The tattoo artist (I wish I could remember his name) wanted her to put on a tube top, to provide him with easy access. ;) She declined, and then had SAS cut out the back of her shirt. Since we weren't allowed to take pictures in the studio, I missed this picture taking opportunity.

I thought CJ was going to pass out from her fear of the pain. I tried to reassure her, and told her several times that it would not hurt. For some reason, she always refuses to listen to me. Even though I'm always right. Always! Afterwards she admitted that the anticipation was the worst part.

She is now an addict. As I type, she is planning tattoo number two. I'm so proud.

This is my turtle. I put it just above my ankle. I really like it. I wanted to get something similar to this when I was living in Hawaii, but I never had the opportunity.

Satan and Fang are now tattoo artist in the making. They have taken to scribbling all over themselves each and every time they get an ink pen into their chubby little hands. They aren't writing on the walls or the furniture, so I'm not complaining.

At the casa. Ole that is.

Here we are enjoying our fine meals at Casa Ole. The food is decent but most importantly it's cheap. Sadly, our server Cooper was lacking good server skills.

See SAS and her dimples. Wouldnt she look cuter if they were pierced? LOL

Cj and Satan making a pretty face.

Tater cheesing for the camera.

This is my pretty face. No, I wasn't drinking. I only look the part.

GRRR!

I tried to add my pics but they aren't showing up. I have to take Tater to the orthodontist. Yep, I am about to find out how many hundreds of dollars a nice set of teeth is going to run me.

Anyway, I will try to add the pics later this evening.