Day from hell

Today has been the day from hell. Shortly after waking up, I received a call for Sgt. D's wife. She sounded very sad. This confused me. She slowly begins to tell me that 4 soldiers in Taji have been killed. Followed by a LONG FUCKING PAUSE. OK, I'm sane and I know that loved ones aren't notified about a service members death through the FRG. But at that very moment all rational thought left my head. My heart sank, and I could not breath. Horrible thoughts entered my head.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she said, "But it was no one from our unit." Pure and sudden relief hit me, but that was short lived. I feel over joyed that it wasn't DH, but this seems wrong to me in a way. Almost like I'm seeking happiness in the misery of others.

Just like the helicopter pilots that died last week. Robin was nice enough to get the information for the funerals out to all of us. She even included maps. How could I go to these funerals? I would be there among grieving friends and family members. All the while thinking, I'm glad that its your loss and not mine. This is wrong on so many levels.

In spite of felling like total shit, I was nice and called the in-laws, whom I despise. I figured they would be watching the news, and they had been. Marie was crying, because it's all about her all the time, the stupid bitch. I let her know that DH wasn't among the dead. She thanked me for calling. Then she quickly hung up because she was getting ready for company. Reason #678,320,484,358,923 why I'm glad that I live 22 hours away from any family members.