pie

Santa was good to me. He brought me a exactly what I wanted. I am pleased. Although not quite as much as Satan was. She was absolutely thrilled. She noticed the box. Then she asked, "what's that?"

Before I could answer, she said. "Yay! It's like AB's cookin' thang." insert girly giggle here, "now, I can make pie."

turkey lobster

I've been pretty strict since with Tater because he is failing. So he hasn't had a chance to play with A since the beginning of December. Since it is Christmas, I decided to let him off of punishment for a few days. Tonight he is spending the night with A.

Our Christmas diner was sort of sad, since it was just the two littlest heathes and myself. I think Satan picks up on my sadness. She was trying really hard to make me feel better. She started making yum noises while eating. So I asked if her if the turkey was delicious.

Her reply, "It is. It taste just like lobster." heh

pop rocks

Santa brought pop rocks. Satan has never had pop rocks before. She was plesently surprised. She made the funniest face. Then she giggled and said, "that tickeled my mouth."

Fang wasn't as impressed. He said, "can nee yuck." heh

Granny rocks.

My sweet neighbor Granny was too kind to us today. Her children are grown and all live out of state. This year they were unable to get together for Christmas, so she has been a bit depressed. To try to make up for being alone this year, Granny bought the little heathens presents. Bright and early this morning she knocked on the door carrying gifts, which I let the heathens open.

Fang was given a Pooh Train. That him and Satan have played with most of the day. Satan has a Lissi Doll. That she adores. And Tater has a remote controlled car. I am overwhelmed with Granny's kindness. I wish that I would have gotten something for her. Maybe I will pick up a nice after Christmas thank you gift.

DH called. We talked just long enough to say Merry Christmas to each other, before the connection was lost. Oh well, at least I know he is OK. And he made the effort to call. Poor DH probably wasted a couple of hours standing in line just to call. :( At least he didn't have to lose his appetite with the sight of Rumsfeld.

I decided to go ahead and make the turkey tomorrow. I've also decided to try something new. This year I'm brining it. I'm using this brine. But I didn't have all the exact ingredients so I made some changes. For instance, I used apple juice instead of cider. I used table salt instead of kosher salt. I used powdered ginger instead of whole ginger. So I'm not really using that brine, I'm making it up as I go along. heh

Now I have an hour to get the heathens in the bath, into their new pj's and in the bed. Then I will undoubtedly have to read 5 or more stories before the littlest heathens go to sleep. Then I will be up half the night putting the Power Wheels that MIL sent together.

Tomorrow I will be tired and grouchy. Ah the joy of Christmas.

My 3

I'm late. I finally have my 3 things.

Three names you go by

1. Stacy. Do not call me Stace.
2. Woman, this is what DH calls me. Isn't he romantic?
3. mom/mommy

Three screen names you have:

1. Snarky Tattooed Heathen
2. Sxyfletch
3. Krzykurls

Three things you like about yourself:

1. my sense of humor
2. my hair
3. my winning personality ;)

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:

1. my stomach. After having 3 c-sections, I am in desperate need of a tummy tuck.
2. my hair. It's a love hate relationship.
3. my hands. I have little, old woman hands.

Three parts of your heritage:

1. American. I once asked my grandma what our heritage was, she told me American.
2. Irish.
3. I am also part Native American. My grandpa's mother was 100% native American. I can't get much information out of any of my crazy family members, so I'm not positive which tribe she was from. Researching my family tree is on my to do list. So ask me again in 15 -20 years.

Three things that scare you:

1. the current US administration. I'm keeping Dmouse's answer because it doesn't get any scarier than that.
2. My children growing up. I want to keep them young forever. Well, at least a bit longer.
3. DH. His safety while in Iraq.

Three of your everyday essentials:

1. chap stick. I must have smooth soft lips.
2. Lotion. I'm a lotion whack. I have to apply it 70 times a day.
3. Ice maker. I must have ice in everything I drink. Even when it's cold outside.

Three things you are wearing right now:

1. t-shirt
2. flannel pj pants
3. fuzzy slippers

Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment:

1. I don't have a good answer to answer this. I rarely get to listen to grown up music. I'm afraid people would laugh if I put the Wiggles.

Three of your favorite songs at present:

1. Fang singing Fro tee no man.
2. Satan's version of All star. Somebody once told me the world was macaroni. heh
3. ABC's as sung by Satan and Fang.

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:

1. just saying no to Coke
2. water. drinking lots of it
3. sleeping. all night long without interruption.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):

1. laughter.
2. great sex
3. trust

Two truths and a lie:

1. I can't wait for Christmas to be done and over.
2. I can't wait for DH to come home
3. I love love love fire ants. (I must, since I blog about them all the damn time.)

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you:

1. Hands. Big and rough.
2. height. I'm only attracted to men that are taller than I am.
3. Girth. Skinny men do not do it for me.

Three things you just can't do:

1. Sing.
2. Keep my foot out of my mouth.
3. Spell.

Three of your favorite hobbies:

1. Reading the forums. Sadly this is #1.
2. Reading everything else.
3. watching movies

Three things you want to do really badly right now:

1. Put Satan to bed. She is asleep in my lap. and my left arm is falling asleep under the weight, but she will be awake as soon as I lay her down. GRRR!
2. Take a nice long soak in the tub.
3. stop coughing.

Three careers you're considering:

1. I'm not really considering any careers at the moment. But I want to be Wonder Woman when I grow up. Does that count as a career? Dodging bullets with snazzy gold bracelets should definitely count.

Three places you want to go on vacation:

1. Anywhere that isn't TX.
2. Anywhere outside the US. Australia, Asia, Europe etc...
3. I would say Hawaii, but I would prefer to just move there.

Three kids names:

1. Tater
2. Satan
3. Fang

Three things you want to do before you die:

1. Travel the world
2. Have a woman president.
3. Have half a dozen grand children.

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die a slow orgasmic death:

1. Cheri
2. Ray
3. Debbie

Happy Holidays!

Edited to answer a question. No, I don't know if DH is in the pic, or which one he may be. The faces are too tiny. I will try to remember to ask him when we talk again. The pic came in an email from the commander. I thought it was nice, so here it is.

All I want for Christmas..............

is a year long contract with Terminex.

Seriously. That is what I want. Otherwise, I figure one of two things are going to happen. I will die from inhaling ant spray, or the damn fire ants are going to eat us alive.

The most recent attack happened in Taters room. As sad as I am for Tater, I am a bit angry with him too. He knows that no food or drinks are allowed in his room. But that didn't stop him from taking a glass of sweet tea into his room. Where he proceeded to spill it on the bed. Lucky for him that sheets and blanket soaked up the sweet tea. Which he thought would leave no trace that he had broken a house rule.

Unfortunately for Tater, the sheets and blankets soaked up the sweet tea. Then Tater being the oblivious almost teen that he is didn't notice that his sheets were covered with fire ants when he hopped into bed. Then he quickly came running into the kitchen screaming about being under attack.

His sheets and blankets are in the wash, and he is sleeping on the sofa.

I've started reading up on ants. I've learned that spraying doesn't work. That it generally just makes things worse. I think I've learnt that the hard way. Since I'm still not wanting to fork over hundreds of dollars for an exterminator, I've ordered this. I shall feed them tainted treats and sing my voodoo chats and hope that they die. Every last one of them.

Although my research makes it clear that spraying isn't effective(baiting is the preferred method), Ken is coming over tomorrow to crawl around the attic. He will spray every nook and cranny in exchange for cookies.

Isn't it amazing what a few cookies will get you? Makes me wish I could pay for everything with cookies.

I am an addict.

Today has been shitty. DH called to warn me that he wouldn't be calling on Christmas to wish the little heathens a Merry Christmas. He has to be a soldier for a while. Normally DH is safe considering. He puts fuel into helicopters. Meaning he isn't out wandering around the city just waiting to be attacked by insurgents. He does the regular soldier thing, but I normally don't hear about it until after the fact. Which is good because then I'm not plagued with worry. I still worry, but it doesn't put me into super worry wart mode.

So that has me on edge, and since there was no way I was going to get back to sleep. I did laundry. All the laundry. I washed it. I dried it. I folded it. I was putting it away. When I went to put my clean, dry, folded towels in the linen closet. I was surprised with fire ants crawling all over my clean, dry, folded towels and blankets. I was seething with anger. I threw the clean, dry, folded towels that I was carrying into the floor. I ran to the garage. I grabbed the fire ant poison. And I sprayed it all over my clean, dry, folded, put away blankets and towels. I was also screaming profanities. Lots of profanities.

My poor children were in the living room, peaking around the corner. They were thinking to themselves, "Mommy is crazy! She needs to seek professional help, and soon!" Fang finally broke the silence with "Ants! Bad!" heh

Now I literally have a mountain of laundry to wash (half a dozen times to get the poison out), dry, fold and put away. Instead of starting with that. I loaded up the kids in the van. I drove to 7-11. I purchased a cold 12 pack of Coke. I drove home. I put Fang down for his nap. I put in a movie for Tater and Satan.

I now sit here drinking a glass full of icy cold bubbly brown goodness. Thinking to myself, it's a damn good think that I don't much like the taste of alcohol, or I would have been an alcoholic months ago.

Voo Doo

CJ is such a good friend, she sent me voodoo dolls. That's right plural. Dolls.

Now my evil 'die fire ants die' voo doo chants should work. heh

fucking fire ants

I swear, I've become obsessed with the damn vacuum cleaner. I run it 2 - 3 times a day. But today I missed something. A tiny piece of chocolate covered pretzel. It was smaller than a dime. Within mere hours I have fucking ants crawling all over the carpet. Maybe Santa will bring me a barrel of ant poison.

kindred spirit

I've found my long lost twin. heh

She writes. ( I assume the author is a she) In fits of rage I can be seen screaming and shouting while squirting the little beasts to death. Sure it might seem childish but after having lived with this epidemic for so long a bit of revenge seems long overdue.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

That was me yelling at the damn fire ants again.

I can not get rid of them. I've bought two different types of spray, both are supposed to leave your house fire ant free for up to 9 months. Oh how they lie. Stupid advertisements.

I hate using pesticide in the house unless absolutely necessary. Sadly, I've gone through almost 2 gallons of poison. I hate that. I feel like I'm harming myself and my children by using this shit in the house. But how the hell else am I going to get rid of these evil pest?

I thought I had finally said good riddance to them. I thought wrong! Tonight when I was reading Satan her good night story. She looked up and said, "what's that in my light?"

It was fucking fire ants. They were crawling around in the ceiling light. I said bad words. Lots and lots of bad words. Then I put Satan and Fang into my bed, so I could spray their room. Again! This time making sure to spray around the ceiling light fixture, and the air vent just for good measure. Now their bed room door is shut. Several windows are open to try to air out the house. I'm freezing because it's cold outside, and I'm a wimp. And my throat feels weird. I'm super careful to not inhale the shit, and I wash like crazy after spraying it. But I can smell it. That's what makes me crazy, makes me think that my throat is going to close up.

I hate using pesticide! But I hate fire ants more, I think.

Never ask, "what else can go wrong?"

The story begins Sunday, when I fucked up my computer. Yet again. Lucky for me, I was able to call Dell tech support. Where Mark flirted with me for an hour walked me through reinstalling XP. At the time I was over joyed because my computer was up and running. Perfectly. Then I stayed up way too late chatting with Denine and Evil Amy. The next day I was grouchy and tired. As you can probably guess, my day started out not so good, but I just had to go and make it worse.

I did that by watching Last Letters Home. I shouldn't have watched. Not at this point in time anyway. Afterwards it really hit me hard that I had lost all the emails that DH has send since he has left. I had saved everyone. My plan was to someday print them all, and add them to the box. The box is a box (duh) where I keep all the letters, cards etc that DH sends. Considering that I was tired, grouchy and feeling a bit depressed about Christmas. It was too much. I was sadder than I think I have ever been.

Just the day before DH called, and I promised that I would send him Christmas cookies and Buckeyes. I wasn't in the Chritsmasy mood considering, but since I promised Satan that we would bake cookies and make candy on Monday. I kept my promise. Which ended up being another mistake. Somehow, I was so immersed in making cookies and candy, and my own thoughts that I forgot Tater. I've never done that before. Ever.

Mondays and Tuesdays, Tater stays after school for tutoring. He is there until 4:15 at which point I pick him up. I'm usually there at 4:05, and I wait for him. However, this past Monday, I was in the kitchen covered with icing and chocolate instead of at the school picking up my child. I was in the kitchen covering the cookies with icing and sprinkles, when I heard a knock on the door. It startled me because I wasn't expecting any guest or packages for that matter. So I hesitantly go to the door, where I see Tater crying.

I ask, "What's wrong? Where have you been?"

He sobs, " I was waiting for you at school. I was scared and started walking home because you didn't come get me." He points to my neighbor across the street, "she brought me home."

OMG, I felt this big. How could I have forgotten him like that? It's several days later, and I still feel bad about it.

Then on Tuesday, I had the cookies and candy all packed up nicely in glad ware, I doubt DH will get them in time for Christmas, but i can hope. I make the mistake of going to hell the post office. I hate going to hell the post office. There were exactly two people in front of me, yet I was there, standing in line with a heavy box and two squirmy anxious children, for 40 minutes. Because postal workers are hella slow.

By the time I left the post office, I was incredibly frustrated. When I opened the hatch on the van, to put the stroller in the back. I pulled the handle off. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Apparently, I have super human strength. However, that did little to amuse it. Instead it pissed me off. Now I will have to take the van to the dealership, where I will be forced to sit for hours with two squirmy kids to have the damn thing fixed. After getting the little heathens into their car seats and putting the stroller in the floor. I was thinking what else could go wrong, when I jerked the drivers side door open and whacked myself in the head. I'm still sporting a lovely purple knot just over my eye.

stupid blogger

Just the other day. Yesterday to be exact. I had typed up a nice long entry. Only to have blogger eat it. Damn you blogger.

Lesson learnt. Always copy/paste entries to word and save before hitting post on blogger.

Now, can you all look at me? Please? Pretty, pretty please? 

Fang move over towards Tater.  

Tater sit up straight, and get your hand out of your sleve. 

Fang look up.  

Join me in a happy dance.

Because last night all the little heathens stayed in their own beds until morning. WOO HOO!