It's official. My uterus is incorporated. Since it's all official now, I named it Stacy's Speakeasy. Because my uterus sells illegal alcoholic beverages, and speakeasy is fun to say.

Incorporate your own uterus here. www.incorporatemyuterus.com

Big boy

School is going. I'm not taking a lot of classes or even stressful classes, but it's still hard. Why didn't I do think when I was fresh out of high school and with out children?

I am loving the kids lately. The wee one cracks me up every single day. He is so filled with wisdom. The kind of wisdom that you can only get from going to Kindergarten. For example, the other day as we were walking back from the elementary school, he said, "I look like a big kid now. Because I have this cool jacket and this backpack." Then he happily skipped into the house.

Right now he is dancing/karateing and asking me deep meaningful questions. When I answer incorrectly he gives the correct answer. Here are a few:

What is cat hair made out of? Cat hair.

What happens when you jump into a volcano? You get burned up with lava, and turn into a fairy. Some people say you go to Jesus world, but fairy world is more funner.

Do you remember when you were a little kid? Because I remember when you were a little kid and you had long hair. I liked you better then.

Know how to play the tired game? Don't go to sleep when it's bed time.

Christian bigots

So the school where I went to elementary school closed after my 8th grade year. Anyway, this Oct there is going to be a reunion. All the students that ever attended are welcome. I am honestly looking forward to seeing some of the people that I haven't see in years. However, there are a few people whom I wish wouldn't bother to show up. :/

There is one student in particular. She was in my class, and as it turns out she is a bigot of epic proportions. How do I know this, since she lives in NC? A website has been started so all students can post old year book pictures and just reminisce and catch up. Sounds wonderful doesn't it?

Bigot (I don't want to use her real name), started off posting some bull shit poem about not voting for Obama. Ya know, if he isn't who you want to vote for then by all means don't vote for him. However, if you aren't going to vote for him, base it on actual facts not on some bullshit clips you've caught on fox news. Her poem went on to say that if Obama gains the presidency we will all be in living in poverty (clearly she is well versed on politics). Oh, and she wishes that Obama were a tree, and her a dog so that she could pee on him. How nice and classy is that? And from someone that goes to great lengths to tell you how much of a Christian she is? Even better. Right?

Before all this transpired, I had added her as my facebook friend. FTR I am incredibly nosey. If you are my facebook friend, and you add pictures, I will look at them, and comment accordingly. So bigot posted many, many pictures of her new house that her and her hubby are building. It is a nice house. I was admiring their handiwork when I came upon a picture of a huge stove. Bigot so smartly tagged the pic with "Big 700 gallon water stove. We are converting to waste oil, solor wood burning for heat instead of paying the towel head for their "precious" oil! Waste oil, solar and wood are FREE!"


That is right. She actually used the words towel head. Right after espousing her fine Christian virtues and morals. I'm thinking that this reunion is going to make for a long night.

Numero tres

One day, and three new blog enteries. I must be on a roll. Or something. I was just reading over my past enteries, and it made me sad. Those were the worst times, yet those were the best times. That's me quoting something; I'm not sure what.

In keeping with my past that I had forgotten about, I leave you with this.

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

P.S. Oh, and since I've recently been reunited, kinda, sorta with my dear friend Eddie. I will post a link to his myspace page. He has moved to Nashville, and hopes to make it big. I wish him the best, and hope that he does in fact make it big. Just so I can say I know someone famous. ;)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=146971556
Now. Go and send Eddie some love.

Heathen Chick? Yep, that's me.

In case you didn't already know, I am, in fact, a godless heathen. You can hate me if you want, but I don't give a shit about that. So, you would just be wasting endless amounts of energy for no good reason.

Anyway, the super fabulous news is that I found a local atheist group. They are Heathen Chicks. Isn't that a super fabulous name? I'm going to my first meeting next week. I'm all kinds of excited and giggly like a school girl going to her first dance. This should be fun.

Is it wrong of me to wish that some of them are mothers that are more ambitious than myself? Because I want badly to convince someone that isn't me, to start a local chapter of Earth Scouts so my two littlest heathens can attend.

PS3 love story

DH bought himself a fancy new PS3. Along with that, he bought Metal Gear Solid 4. Now, there are not just one love story, but two taking place right now in my living room. DH has mad, to the point of drooling, love for his PS3. While, I sit here cracking up at love story plot line going on in MGS 4. Since when did manly shoot 'em up video games have romantic plot lines?

Want to know what my present was? Sure you do. I am now the proud owner of some fancy new red chairs. They pretty up the living room so nicely. DH said that they were fabulous, but I've noticed he never sit in either chair. Unlike a good wife, I'm not much concerned with his dislike of my chairs, because I love them. Despite the fact that the sit higher than a normal chair would due to all the extra cushiness. Hence the reason I call them my cushy thrones. Since I am queen of the world, they are exactly what I needed.

Your mom goes to college

Where have I been? Here, there and every where. Things in KY did not work out. Shocking, I know. Shawn took a job recruiting for the National Guard in Ohio. So we now live in OH. I'm in school. Full time. Yay! It's hard, but I'm loving every minute of it.

My kidlets are growing up way too fast. Tater is 14, and will be going to high school in the fall. Satan is now seven, and cute as can be with her two font teeth missing. Fang is now five, but is still my baby boy. It's hardest to watch him grow up. Knowing that he is my last, I want to keep him tiny forever. Plus, in his eyes, I am still the most amazing person in the world. I'm not quite ready to give that role up.

What BFE looks like.

This is the front of the house. The wee one in the driveway is Fang. As you can see our landscaping looks like shit. There is an explanation for that. DH and I spend a very long day planting flowers and putting down black plastic weed barrier. We were planning to purchase massive amounts of mulch to cover our black plastic. Unfortunately, a very windy storm blew in, and blew up most of our black plastic weed barrier. We are both very frustrated and aggravated.

This is a much better picture of our grass-less dirt. We did sow grass seed, but a pipe to the septic tank came loose. They had to dig all around the septic tank to fix the pipe. That was one stinky mess.

This is the other side of our house. The big patch of grass-less dirt is where our septic tank was installed. You can't really see the entire length of grass-less dirt. There are three 96 feet long sections of leech bed that are hidden by the taller grass in the field.

This is tobacco that is growing next to our house. The barn is the back ground is where our nearest neighbors live. We call them the moo cow family. ;)

This is the view from my front door. That is my gravel driveway leading to a gravel road. I told you this was BFE.

This is another picture of the creek. It's blury. I need a new memory card. I think.  

This is the creek behind our house. DH has been working on clearing the brush away.  

This is my big girl princess on her first day of school 

I am alive, and I'm lazy.

I bet you are asking, "where the hell have you been?"

The answer is long. DH arrived safely home from Iraq. We had a lot of catching up to do. Then we packed up all our shit, and moved to BFE, KY. Think Green Acres. I can't say that I miss TX, but I miss my house. I fixed that house exactly the way I liked it. I painted everything. I picked out the carpet. I put in new light fixtures. I planted flowers and shrubs. The house that I hated when we first moved in, I grew to love.

I have some pictures that I'm dieing to share, but I'm suffering on a slower than slow 26.4 dial up connection. Logging onto the internet is almost painful. I will have DSL. Someday. I will resize them and post them on the blog soon. I promise.

Here is a tiny snippet of what has happened in my life since forever ago when I last updated the blog. Tater had to finish 5th grade here in BFE. He did have to go to summer school, but he was promoted to 6th grade. So it's all good. He has his first pimple on his nose. :( He has a lot of friends already. The kids here think he is cool because he has lived in TX. If they only knew.

Tater is smitten with a little thing I like to call first crush. He likes can't stand Becky. She is so beautiful ugly, that he can't concentrate in class. Becky is the most beautiful ugly 6th grade girl he has ever laid eyes on. heh

Satan is growing up too. She no longer wants to be referred to as Satan or baby girl. She insist that we call her Big Girl Princess (BGP). Why? Because she started Pre-K on Monday. Satan doesn't go to school. Big Girl Princess does. Monday through Thursday. All. day. long.

BGP LOVES school. Her teacher, Mrs.P, is bootaful, and nice, and friendly, and smart, and has yellow hair, and has glasses, and went to the circus, and has a kitty cat, and a fish, and a girl, and knows the ABC song, and all the colors. There is a lot of talk about Mrs. P at our house.

In fact, "Mrs. P is the most awesomest teacher ever," said the BGP that has only gone to school for one entire week.

She has waited years for this. It's a dream come true for her, but it does tucker her out. The first day of school was especially bad. As soon as she came home, she sat on the couch. It wasn't 5 minutes later and she was snoring. We tried to wake her for diner, she just rolled over and moaned. We waited a while longer, and tried to wake her again. She would not get up. I finally carried her to bed.She didn't wake up until morning. The second day wasn't so bad, but she did take a small nap on the sofa before diner.

She goes all day long, four days a week. They have nap time. According to Satan, she doesn't take a nap. She shuts her eyes because they burn. heh Big girl princesses don't take naps.

Fang is growing up too. He is potty trained, mostly. He has given up the boobie, but he misses it. He really misses his big sister while she is at school. All day long I hear, "Mommy, where my em wee go?" Fang is the only one not forced to call her Big Girl Princess. But he doesn't listen all that well yet. I'm going to assume that he doesn't realize he too should address her as BGP..

He is becoming quite the little helper. He likes to throw black socks and/or red t-shirts into my load of whites. He fills the toilet with TP and shampoo. Then swishs it all around with the toilet brush. It makes for a very clean toilet. I'll not mention the puddle of soggy TP on the floor.

When we aren't cleaning the house from top to bottom, or taking walks to look for treasures. His latest treasure was a turkey feather and a black rock. heh We watch a lot of Wiggles to pass the time. Our favorite song is The Monkey Dance. Fang is mean. He will not share the Wiggles guitar. There are times when Ii want to play the guitar while we sing and dance. But no.

He also won't let me drive the race car when we go fishing. ;)

After I get some sleep, I will resize my pictures and try to publish them. But don't hold your breath because I am lazy.