snarky tattooed heathen

2011-04-07T18:06:00.002-05:00

It's official. My uterus is incorporated. Since it's all official now, I named it Stacy's Speakeasy. Because my uterus sells illegal alcoholic beverages, and speakeasy is fun to say.

Incorporate your own uterus here. www.incorporatemyuterus.com

Big boy

2008-11-20T19:13:00.002-06:00

School is going. I'm not taking a lot of classes or even stressful classes, but it's still hard. Why didn't I do think when I was fresh out of high school and with out children?

I am loving the kids lately. The wee one cracks me up every single day. He is so filled with wisdom. The kind of wisdom that you can only get from going to Kindergarten. For example, the other day as we were walking back from the elementary school, he said, "I look like a big kid now. Because I have this cool jacket and this backpack." Then he happily skipped into the house.

Right now he is dancing/karateing and asking me deep meaningful questions. When I answer incorrectly he gives the correct answer. Here are a few:

What is cat hair made out of? Cat hair.

What happens when you jump into a volcano? You get burned up with lava, and turn into a fairy. Some people say you go to Jesus world, but fairy world is more funner.

Do you remember when you were a little kid? Because I remember when you were a little kid and you had long hair. I liked you better then.

Know how to play the tired game? Don't go to sleep when it's bed time.

Christian bigots

2008-09-06T19:33:00.003-05:00

So the school where I went to elementary school closed after my 8th grade year. Anyway, this Oct there is going to be a reunion. All the students that ever attended are welcome. I am honestly looking forward to seeing some of the people that I haven't see in years. However, there are a few people whom I wish wouldn't bother to show up. :/

There is one student in particular. She was in my class, and as it turns out she is a bigot of epic proportions. How do I know this, since she lives in NC? A website has been started so all students can post old year book pictures and just reminisce and catch up. Sounds wonderful doesn't it?

Bigot (I don't want to use her real name), started off posting some bull shit poem about not voting for Obama. Ya know, if he isn't who you want to vote for then by all means don't vote for him. However, if you aren't going to vote for him, base it on actual facts not on some bullshit clips you've caught on fox news. Her poem went on to say that if Obama gains the presidency we will all be in living in poverty (clearly she is well versed on politics). Oh, and she wishes that Obama were a tree, and her a dog so that she could pee on him. How nice and classy is that? And from someone that goes to great lengths to tell you how much of a Christian she is? Even better. Right?

Before all this transpired, I had added her as my facebook friend. FTR I am incredibly nosey. If you are my facebook friend, and you add pictures, I will look at them, and comment accordingly. So bigot posted many, many pictures of her new house that her and her hubby are building. It is a nice house. I was admiring their handiwork when I came upon a picture of a huge stove. Bigot so smartly tagged the pic with "Big 700 gallon water stove. We are converting to waste oil, solor wood burning for heat instead of paying the towel head for their "precious" oil! Waste oil, solar and wood are FREE!"

That is right. She actually used the words towel head. Right after espousing her fine Christian virtues and morals. I'm thinking that this reunion is going to make for a long night.

Numero tres

2008-07-16T22:43:00.003-05:00

One day, and three new blog enteries. I must be on a roll. Or something. I was just reading over my past enteries, and it made me sad. Those were the worst times, yet those were the best times. That's me quoting something; I'm not sure what.

In keeping with my past that I had forgotten about, I leave you with this.

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

P.S. Oh, and since I've recently been reunited, kinda, sorta with my dear friend Eddie. I will post a link to his myspace page. He has moved to Nashville, and hopes to make it big. I wish him the best, and hope that he does in fact make it big. Just so I can say I know someone famous. ;)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=146971556
Now. Go and send Eddie some love.

Heathen Chick? Yep, that's me.

2008-07-16T21:50:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't already know, I am, in fact, a godless heathen. You can hate me if you want, but I don't give a shit about that. So, you would just be wasting endless amounts of energy for no good reason.

Anyway, the super fabulous news is that I found a local atheist group. They are Heathen Chicks. Isn't that a super fabulous name? I'm going to my first meeting next week. I'm all kinds of excited and giggly like a school girl going to her first dance. This should be fun.

Is it wrong of me to wish that some of them are mothers that are more ambitious than myself? Because I want badly to convince someone that isn't me, to start a local chapter of Earth Scouts so my two littlest heathens can attend.

PS3 love story

2008-07-16T21:39:00.002-05:00

DH bought himself a fancy new PS3. Along with that, he bought Metal Gear Solid 4. Now, there are not just one love story, but two taking place right now in my living room. DH has mad, to the point of drooling, love for his PS3. While, I sit here cracking up at love story plot line going on in MGS 4. Since when did manly shoot 'em up video games have romantic plot lines?

Want to know what my present was? Sure you do. I am now the proud owner of some fancy new red chairs. They pretty up the living room so nicely. DH said that they were fabulous, but I've noticed he never sit in either chair. Unlike a good wife, I'm not much concerned with his dislike of my chairs, because I love them. Despite the fact that the sit higher than a normal chair would due to all the extra cushiness. Hence the reason I call them my cushy thrones. Since I am queen of the world, they are exactly what I needed.

Your mom goes to college

2008-03-29T11:59:00.003-05:00

Where have I been? Here, there and every where. Things in KY did not work out. Shocking, I know. Shawn took a job recruiting for the National Guard in Ohio. So we now live in OH. I'm in school. Full time. Yay! It's hard, but I'm loving every minute of it.

My kidlets are growing up way too fast. Tater is 14, and will be going to high school in the fall. Satan is now seven, and cute as can be with her two font teeth missing. Fang is now five, but is still my baby boy. It's hardest to watch him grow up. Knowing that he is my last, I want to keep him tiny forever. Plus, in his eyes, I am still the most amazing person in the world. I'm not quite ready to give that role up.

What BFE looks like.

2005-08-26T13:57:00.000-05:00

This is the front of the house. The wee one in the driveway is Fang. As you can see our landscaping looks like shit. There is an explanation for that. DH and I spend a very long day planting flowers and putting down black plastic weed barrier. We were planning to purchase massive amounts of mulch to cover our black plastic. Unfortunately, a very windy storm blew in, and blew up most of our black plastic weed barrier. We are both very frustrated and aggravated.

2005-08-26T13:51:00.000-05:00

This is a much better picture of our grass-less dirt. We did sow grass seed, but a pipe to the septic tank came loose. They had to dig all around the septic tank to fix the pipe. That was one stinky mess.

2005-08-26T13:49:00.000-05:00

This is the other side of our house. The big patch of grass-less dirt is where our septic tank was installed. You can't really see the entire length of grass-less dirt. There are three 96 feet long sections of leech bed that are hidden by the taller grass in the field.

2005-08-26T13:45:00.000-05:00

This is tobacco that is growing next to our house. The barn is the back ground is where our nearest neighbors live. We call them the moo cow family. ;)

2005-08-26T13:43:00.000-05:00

This is the view from my front door. That is my gravel driveway leading to a gravel road. I told you this was BFE.

2005-08-26T13:40:00.000-05:00

This is another picture of the creek. It's blury. I need a new memory card. I think.

2005-08-26T13:38:00.000-05:00

This is the creek behind our house. DH has been working on clearing the brush away.

2005-08-26T00:15:00.000-05:00

This is my big girl princess on her first day of school

I am alive, and I'm lazy.

2005-08-25T23:29:00.000-05:00

I bet you are asking, "where the hell have you been?"

The answer is long. DH arrived safely home from Iraq. We had a lot of catching up to do. Then we packed up all our shit, and moved to BFE, KY. Think Green Acres. I can't say that I miss TX, but I miss my house. I fixed that house exactly the way I liked it. I painted everything. I picked out the carpet. I put in new light fixtures. I planted flowers and shrubs. The house that I hated when we first moved in, I grew to love.

I have some pictures that I'm dieing to share, but I'm suffering on a slower than slow 26.4 dial up connection. Logging onto the internet is almost painful. I will have DSL. Someday. I will resize them and post them on the blog soon. I promise.

Here is a tiny snippet of what has happened in my life since forever ago when I last updated the blog. Tater had to finish 5th grade here in BFE. He did have to go to summer school, but he was promoted to 6th grade. So it's all good. He has his first pimple on his nose. :( He has a lot of friends already. The kids here think he is cool because he has lived in TX. If they only knew.

Tater is smitten with a little thing I like to call first crush. He ~~likes~~ can't stand Becky. She is so ~~beautiful~~ ugly, that he can't concentrate in class. Becky is the most ~~beautiful~~ ugly 6th grade girl he has ever laid eyes on. heh

Satan is growing up too. She no longer wants to be referred to as Satan or baby girl. She insist that we call her Big Girl Princess (BGP). Why? Because she started Pre-K on Monday. Satan doesn't go to school. Big Girl Princess does. Monday through Thursday. All. day. long.

BGP LOVES school. Her teacher, Mrs.P, is bootaful, and nice, and friendly, and smart, and has yellow hair, and has glasses, and went to the circus, and has a kitty cat, and a fish, and a girl, and knows the ABC song, and all the colors. There is a lot of talk about Mrs. P at our house.

In fact, "Mrs. P is the most awesomest teacher ever," said the BGP that has only gone to school for one entire week.

She has waited years for this. It's a dream come true for her, but it does tucker her out. The first day of school was especially bad. As soon as she came home, she sat on the couch. It wasn't 5 minutes later and she was snoring. We tried to wake her for diner, she just rolled over and moaned. We waited a while longer, and tried to wake her again. She would not get up. I finally carried her to bed.She didn't wake up until morning. The second day wasn't so bad, but she did take a small nap on the sofa before diner.

She goes all day long, four days a week. They have nap time. According to Satan, she doesn't take a nap. She shuts her eyes because they burn. heh Big girl princesses don't take naps.

Fang is growing up too. He is potty trained, mostly. He has given up the boobie, but he misses it. He really misses his big sister while she is at school. All day long I hear, "Mommy, where my em wee go?" Fang is the only one not forced to call her Big Girl Princess. But he doesn't listen all that well yet. I'm going to assume that he doesn't realize he too should address her as BGP..

He is becoming quite the little helper. He likes to throw black socks and/or red t-shirts into my load of whites. He fills the toilet with TP and shampoo. Then swishs it all around with the toilet brush. It makes for a very clean toilet. I'll not mention the puddle of soggy TP on the floor.

When we aren't cleaning the house from top to bottom, or taking walks to look for treasures. His latest treasure was a turkey feather and a black rock. heh We watch a lot of Wiggles to pass the time. Our favorite song is The Monkey Dance. Fang is mean. He will not share the Wiggles guitar. There are times when Ii want to play the guitar while we sing and dance. But no.

He also won't let me drive the race car when we go fishing. ;)

After I get some sleep, I will resize my pictures and try to publish them. But don't hold your breath because I am lazy.

waiting for the bus to arrive

2005-03-06T21:24:00.000-06:00

This is the best day ever.

2005-03-06T21:21:00.000-06:00

I have no idea whats going on. I'm just happy to be outside. Oh, and mom let me drink soda. That always makes me smile. :)

2005-03-06T21:19:00.000-06:00

Satan was looking all around. She was certain several times that she had spotted her daddy.

The welcome home ceremony

2005-03-06T21:17:00.000-06:00

Here is the unit. Standing in formation waiting for the ceremony to end. I wanted to get closer and get a better pic, but I didn't get a chance.

2005-03-06T21:15:00.000-06:00

We made DH walk and find us. Because I wasn't about to attempt running out into the crowd, and chance losing one of the little heathens.

2005-03-06T21:14:00.000-06:00

I'm home. Finally.

Our day at Chucke E Cheese

2005-03-06T21:07:00.000-06:00

This is a face that only a heathen could love. ;)

2005-03-06T21:04:00.000-06:00

I'm smiling because I have a whole pocket full of tickets. I'm going to cash them in for something flippin' sweet.

2005-03-06T21:02:00.001-06:00

Weeeeeeeee! That was fun.

2005-03-06T21:02:00.000-06:00

I love this blue car. So much so, that I won't bother to play in anything else while we are here.

Tomorrow is the big day!

2005-03-03T00:02:00.000-06:00

This evening my two best helpers helped decorate this very lovely Welcome Home cake with Easter decorations. Of course they also licked their fingers and added that little extra something.

Little mama

2005-03-02T13:03:00.000-06:00

Last night Fang was chewing on a little people.

Satan being the little mama that she is grabbed the little people from him. She looked at him with disgust and said, "What you doing? You going to break your throat. Then you throat will fall out, and then...." dramatic pause "... you won't be able to hear."

Happy Birthday!

2005-02-27T17:50:00.000-06:00

Fang turned 2 today. He is growing up, but he is still my baby. heh

easy as 3.14

2005-02-25T01:07:00.000-06:00

For the very first time this school year, Tater brought home a report card that only has passing grades. He is even passing math.

He is happy. I am very, very happy!

He will still has math tutoring since his passing grade was only 74, and Mr. F feels that he still isn't able to pass the TAKS test. Any child that does not pass the TAKS test will not be promoted to 6th grade. Still, a 74 is impressive when you compare it to the 49 he had last grading period.

After I congratulated him on a job well done, and gave him the I'm so proud of you speech. He tried to impress me with his math genius. Now he thinks that math is as easy as 3.14. heh

when sharks croak heh

2005-02-23T21:44:00.000-06:00

This evening after I put the little heathens to bed, I was cleaning the kitchen. The windows were still open, and the frogs were croaking. Loud enough to hear them inside. I was thinking happy spring thoughts until Fang ran into the kitchen with, "Shh! Hear it. I scared".

"Go back to bed." I said.

Shaking his head he said, "I scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Hear it?" he whispered loudly. Then he nodded and said, "Sharks!"

Sweet as honey

2005-02-23T21:43:00.000-06:00

The last few days the weather has been warm and beautiful. I have had the windows open letting the breeze and the bees to blow in. Today I was stung three times. I was sitting on the sofa watching some crap on TV when I felt something on my back. I reached around to feel what it was, and I was stung on my thumb. I jumped up to say bad words and stepped on bee #2.

Thinking my day couldn't get any worse, I found several bees in the window. I quickly killed them. I was feeling good about that until I went to remove the dead bee carcasses from the window I was stung once again. It's a damn good thing I'm not allergic.

I've been painting.

2005-02-22T23:28:00.000-06:00

Since DH will be home soon. I've been in super make the house pretty mode. This is what I've been very busy doing. I still have a few minor things to do to both bathrooms, but over all I'm happy with them.

My next big adventure is to paint my kitchen cabinets red. That will likely wait until DH is home to round up the little heathens and keep them out of my hair.

2005-02-22T23:27:00.000-06:00

I antiqued this one, but I used red. I'm proud of it. I feel so crafty, and so unlike myself.

2005-02-22T23:25:00.000-06:00

These are cheap wall sconces from Walmart. I spray painted them gold.

2005-02-22T23:24:00.000-06:00

This is my pretty new bathroom. I'm missing a shower curtain hook. That's the reason for the sag. I still haven't put the cover on the light switch. I broke it when I stepped on it, now I need to buy a new one.

2005-02-22T23:22:00.000-06:00

This is the pretty new shower curtain and the pretty new blue paint. The towel racks are missing as well as the TP holder. I need to purchase anchors, then I can put them up.

2005-02-22T23:21:00.000-06:00

I spray painted the outlet covers, the door knob, the cabinet hardware and the towel racks bronze

2005-02-22T23:20:00.000-06:00

This is the first cabinet that I antiqued.

I make grown men cry.

2005-02-07T23:04:00.000-06:00

I have taken a little blogging break. Because nothing exciting has happened. Well, other than DH calling to tell me that he will be home the first week of March. WOOHOO!

Then today happened.

I woke up feeling shitty. I started my period. Lucky me, I only had 4 tampons. I had to venture out on a day when I didn't want to. Just to buy tampons. I also bought chocolate cookies, diet vanilla Coke, and Motrin. heh

Poor Fang has a cold, and fell asleep on the way home. After I carried him to bed, I vacuumed the van. That didn't take too long, thanks to Satan's help.

Since I was already in cleaning mode, I cleaned out the garage too. How did I go from crampy bitch to queen of clean in mere hours? It had to be the chocolate/caffeine high.

While I was setting out the trash for pickup tomorrow. Granny yelled at me to come peek at her brain child. She was putting a ~~fence~~ baby gate around her patio so Max (her dog) wouldn't get his paws muddy. She can't afford to take him to the groomers every day. Unfortunately for granny, she forgot that dogs can jump and quite well. Therefore, a gate that's made to keep a small child contained is not necessarily going to keep a dog contained. While we were talking, Max jumped right over the gate then proceeded to roll in the wet muddy grass.

As I was trying to hold back the laughter from that, the school bus pulled up. Tater and Dian ran over and started chattering very excitedly. Warning us to not let a strange man in a white car into the house.

Long story short. A man that claimed to be an MP was driving a purple truck. He stopped at the bus stop this morning, and asked the kids for help. The 'MP' was supposedly looking for a 'criminal' driving a white car that had pulled a gun and tried to kill a police officer. The 'MP' then proceeded to warn the kids to not get in a white car, or to speak to strangers in white cars. All very fishy.

After hearing this story, Granny gave a long lecture to Tater and Dian on stranger danger. After her lengthy lecture, Granny practically jumped the fence to run across the street. Granny is the neighborhood watch. heh She had to alert Min that her daughter was almost abducted. Min not hearing the entire story and only registering the word abducted was beyond upset. She asked no questions, nor did she waste any time calling the police. While she did that, Granny rounded up several other kids that had seen the purple truck.

We all gathered in Min's yard and waited. The officer was there in no time. He was very calm, and spoke with all the children. Warning them of stranger danger. He also promised to increase patrols around the bus stops.

Austin's parents were both at work. I volunteered to fill them in on the events of the day. Why is it that every time I decided to be nice, something goes terribly wrong?

I waited until 6:15 to go to A's house. I was told that his mom usually gets home around that time. I'm walked to A's house carrying Fang because his legs were on strike. I knocked on the door. Grandma answered. Well not really, but she did open the door.

There were three non-barking, but very excited pit bulls that were trying to squeeze out the door with Grandma. Grandma was trying to squeeze out the door butt first, while yelling "shut up" at the non barking dogs.

I was watching Grandma with much amusement. Until she opened up the door and said, "come on in, we can have coffee." That's when three non barking but very excited pit bulls ran down the street. Grandma looked at me. Then she looked at the dogs, and yelled, "Shut up you stupid dogs."

I offered to help Grandma find the dogs, but explained that I wasn't much help with a kid on my hip and another trailing after me. Grandma nodded. Then Grandma and I proceeded to walk down the street. I asked Grandma what the dogs names were so I could call them. She answered with, "That mean little girl keeps letting my dogs out. Her parents should keep an eye on her." We were obviously not in the same conversation.

Here I was chasing 3 dogs. I did not know their names. So I was yelling, "Stop dogs!" I had a kid on my hip that was laughing and telling me to run faster. An old lady was chasing after me bitching about a bad little girl. A man with tears in eyes stopped me. He offered to help me chase the dogs, as soon as he stopped laughing at me. Considering the situation, the laughing was only going to get worse.

Luckily, Tater, Austin and several of their friends were running up the street. I rounded them up and sent them on a dog hunt. Overly energetic boys are must more capable of running after three dogs than I am. And much better equipped since they actually knew each dogs name.

The boys managed to locate all three dogs, they were two streets over, and get them safely home. Pretty impressive for a group of rotten boys. ;)

Right after I put the kids to bed, A's dad knocked on the door. His first question, "Do you know who this little girl is that keeps letting our dogs out?" heh

Calgon take me away

2005-01-25T21:04:00.000-06:00

Satan and Fang have started fighting sleep. They are driving me insane. Their early bed time, is my time to fight off the insanity. I need them to go to sleep! But Satan has been climbing on the dresser and turning on the light, so they can play.

Last night I heard giggling. When I went to check on them, and turn the light off for about the fifth time. Fang was butt naked. He was jumping on the bed, and singing We Will Rock You.

I could hardly suppress the laughter from that, but tonight I turned on them. I removed the light bulbs from their ceiling light. Right now I can hear Fang whining rather loudly, "I'm crying."

Grounded again.

2005-01-22T02:09:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, Tater my normally non impulsive and gentle child punched the little girl that lives next door in the stomach. After my initial horror, I made him apologize, and then sent him to his room. Where, I loudly proclaimed, he would stay forever.

The first story I was given was that they were playing kick/basket ball. D decided to kick the ball when she shouldn't have? I'm not real clear on that part. Anyway, this angered Tater so he punched her in the stomach.

After he spent a great deal of time in his room, and I calmed down enough to speak to him without resorting to violence myself. I asked him to sit down and explain to me why he hit D. He was a little too eager to tell his story because he had a plan. A story so well thought out that he thought maybe just maybe I would buy his load of crap. Sadly for him, his well thought out story wasn't that well thought out.

He looked at me with the sad puppy dog eyes and began, "I'm going through puberty, ya know?"

I know, you're thinking, this has what? to do with punching another child. Because that's exactly what I was thinking. But I didn't stop him. I needed to hear this, so I let him continue.

"Puberty is a stressful time. It makes me stressed out and crazy. And D bothers me. One time when we were playing basketball she hit me in the face with the ball, but I didn't hit her that time. And today the water fountains were turned off, and they only had chocolate milk at lunch. I don't like chocolate milk. So I didn't drink it. I wanted lemonade. Then when I came home, I was so dehydrated. I drank a whole glass of lemonade. And then I was going to drink some water but I decided to play basketball instead. So I was dehydrated. And that's why I punched her."

Right there you have it. Dehydration makes you punch people. So please be sure to drink plenty of water, because I would hate to see this happen to others. ;)

My nerd score

2005-01-22T02:08:00.000-06:00

How old do I act?

2005-01-20T02:27:00.000-06:00

I'm really 31. But according to the quiz...

You Are 23 Years Old

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

Religious war

2005-01-18T13:23:00.000-06:00

After reading the news earlier today. Sadly Archbishop of Mosul Basile Georges Casmoussa was kidnapped.

(Last month the Vatican's foreign minister warned that anti-Christian feeling was spreading in Iraq and other Muslim countries because the war on terrorism was seen as linked to Western political strategy.

Archbishop Giovanni Lajolo, the Vatican's second-ranking diplomat, said anti-Christian feeling existed where political strategies of Western countries were believed to be driven by Christianity.)

It occurred to me that this mess in Iraq is now a religious war. Christians (AKA American liberators) versus the Muslims (AKA terrorist) Who will win? I say no one, for we are all losers in this venture. And for that we can thank our esteemed leader.

Quote of the day

"Today, Iraqis are liberated people. The former regime is gone, and our nation and the world is more secure."

George W. Bush
August 14, 2003

weekend of movies

2005-01-18T01:32:00.000-06:00

I was lazy this weekend and watched movies. Lots of movies. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was the first. I loved it. I'm not too fond of Jim Carrey in his funny Ace Ventura type stuff, but as a more serious actor, I think he does a fine job.

The Netflix wait for Napoleon Dynamite is long, and I am impatient. Since I have been looking forward to Napoleon Dynamite since it was in the theater, I actually made a trip to Blockbuster to rent it. Sadly, I was disappointed. It wasn't nearly as good, as I had hoped. There were funny parts, and Tater hasn't stopped saying "just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!" since Saturday. But I should have just waited for Netflix. My money at Blockbuster could have been better spent

I am a movie junkie. Not only did I leave Blockbuster with Napoleon Dynamite, I also rented
The Alamo. I'm such a dork, but I love history movies and Billy Bob Thornton. Yes, I know he is a freak, but I love him. heh

I also let the little heathens pick out movies. They chose Spider-man 2, Barbie The Princess and Pauper and The Land Before Time the Big Freeze.

Damn, that's a lot of movies for one weekend. But we had lots of fresh pop corn, so it's all good.

little ears

2005-01-15T15:02:00.000-06:00

Satan has spent far too much time listening to my words of wisdom. Yesterday, after we passed a funeral procession and I explained what a funeral was. She said matter of factly, "If my daddy gets dead, I will kick his moonie and his ass."

I really need to start watching what I say around little ears.

Todays quote.
"She's doing a fine job of coordinating interagency. She's doing what her-I mean- it shouldn'a-the, the, the role of the national security advisor is to not only provide good advice to the President, which she does on a regular basis-I value her judgment and her intelligence-uhh-but, uhh-her job is also to deal interagency, and to help unstick things that may get stuck-is the best way to put it. She's an unsticker."

George W. Bush
October 28, 2003
Referring to Condoleezza Rice.

It's about damn time

2005-01-13T21:20:00.000-06:00

DH finally instant messaged me. Says he is working 14-16 hours a day and he is tired as hell. Poor baby. He says that he will try to call soon. I don't expect to hear from him much, until after the elections are over.

Todays word is necessary

Quote of the day.

"We marched to war. I don't if you remember, on your TV screens, last summer it - a year ago, summer-it said, 'March to War'. You turn on the TV, and there it says: 'March to War'. That's not a very conducive environment in which people are willing to take risk. It's not a positive thought. It's a necessary, in my judgment, obviously, to make America secure."

George W. Bush
Nov, 10 2003

York peppermint cookies.

2005-01-13T21:12:00.000-06:00

YUM! these are the best things to hit my taste buds since thin mints.

Quote of the day.

"I'm sure there's a lot of people frightened - biotechnology is a long word and it sounds - they may say, well, I don't know if I'm smart enough to be in biotechnology, or it sounds too sophisticated to be in biotechnology."

George W. Bush
Nov. 7, 2003

communication shut down

2005-01-11T01:46:00.000-06:00

I suppose this is the reason that I haven't heard from DH lately. If it goes too long since I've heard from him, I start to get worried. But no news is good news, right?

Eh?

2005-01-10T23:08:00.000-06:00

I received my first almost a teen eye roll from Tater. I feel so special now. heh

TMI I started my period, and I was felling rather blah. This is why I sat on the sofa eating Motrin and mini Snickers all day. I was not in the mood to cook dinner. So I loaded up the little heathens and took them to McDonald's for burgers and apple dippers. Much to their delight.

Is there some unwritten fast food law that only those employees that mumble in incoherent ways are allowed to work the register? Because that tends to always be the person that takes my order. The drive thru is even worse. Anyway, I placed the order and was waiting for the total. Instead I had this conversation.

Mumbles the McD's employee -"Mumble mumble mumble two"

Me- "Eh?"

Tater- "Uh, Mom. You are not Canadian."

Me-"Eh?"

Mumbles - blank stare

tater- "Mom, please stop. You are just doing this to annoy me."

Me- "Eh?"

Tater - Sighs. Rolls eyes.

Mumbles- strangely speaking as plain as day "did I miss something?"

Me -"Eh?"

Mumbles-"mumble mumble mumble"

At this point Tater turns to me, and we both laugh out loud.

Word of the day is conflict

Todays quote is

"And the other lesson is that there are people who can't stand what America stands for, and desire to conflict great harm on the American people."
GWB
July 28, 2003

I'm stealing her idea.

2005-01-09T15:45:00.000-06:00

I have decided to steal Katie's idea. I hope she doesn't mind. I'm going to add quotes to my blog entries. Where we differ, is that Katie's quotes are often times inspiring and insightful. Mine are going to the calender kind. In some instance mine will also be a mini vocabulary lesson.

Todays word is suiciders.

"It is dangerous in Iraq because there are some who believe that we're soft, that the will of the United States Can be shaken by suiciders - and suiciders who are willing to drive up to a Red Cross center, a center of international help and aid and comfort, and just kill... The tactics to respond to more suiciders driving cars will alter on the ground. "
George W. Bush
October 28, 2003

Why I haven't blogged.

2005-01-09T11:44:00.000-06:00

In a word. GAME CUBE.

That's right. The wonderful exciting toy that Santa brought to Tater. I have stolen it, along with the Zelda game. heh

My dear friend CJ sent me a Dubya Calendar . It has the very curious language of George W. Bush. So I leave you with this bit of wisdom.

"The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial."
George W. Bush April 2000

I finally have Christmas pictures.

2005-01-02T01:17:00.000-06:00

The baby is hungry. ;)

2005-01-02T01:15:00.000-06:00

Our Christmas morning cruise.

2005-01-02T01:13:00.000-06:00

Tater and a mountain of gifts.

2005-01-02T01:12:00.000-06:00

I think I like this.

2005-01-02T00:32:00.000-06:00

To the person that sent non washable markers to my house, you now owe me a gallon of paint.

2005-01-02T00:13:00.000-06:00

Princess bed head.

pie

2004-12-25T23:27:00.000-06:00

Santa was good to me. He brought me a exactly what I wanted. I am pleased. Although not quite as much as Satan was. She was absolutely thrilled. She noticed the box. Then she asked, "what's that?"

Before I could answer, she said. "Yay! It's like AB's cookin' thang." insert girly giggle here, "now, I can make pie."

turkey lobster

2004-12-25T23:08:00.001-06:00

I've been pretty strict since with Tater because he is failing. So he hasn't had a chance to play with A since the beginning of December. Since it is Christmas, I decided to let him off of punishment for a few days. Tonight he is spending the night with A.

Our Christmas diner was sort of sad, since it was just the two littlest heathes and myself. I think Satan picks up on my sadness. She was trying really hard to make me feel better. She started making yum noises while eating. So I asked if her if the turkey was delicious.

Her reply, "It is. It taste just like lobster." heh

pop rocks

2004-12-25T23:08:00.000-06:00

Santa brought pop rocks. Satan has never had pop rocks before. She was plesently surprised. She made the funniest face. Then she giggled and said, "that tickeled my mouth."

Fang wasn't as impressed. He said, "can nee yuck." heh

Granny rocks.

2004-12-24T19:15:00.000-06:00

My sweet neighbor Granny was too kind to us today. Her children are grown and all live out of state. This year they were unable to get together for Christmas, so she has been a bit depressed. To try to make up for being alone this year, Granny bought the little heathens presents. Bright and early this morning she knocked on the door carrying gifts, which I let the heathens open.

Fang was given a Pooh Train. That him and Satan have played with most of the day. Satan has a Lissi Doll. That she adores. And Tater has a remote controlled car. I am overwhelmed with Granny's kindness. I wish that I would have gotten something for her. Maybe I will pick up a nice after Christmas thank you gift.

DH called. We talked just long enough to say Merry Christmas to each other, before the connection was lost. Oh well, at least I know he is OK. And he made the effort to call. Poor DH probably wasted a couple of hours standing in line just to call. :( At least he didn't have to lose his appetite with the sight of Rumsfeld.

I decided to go ahead and make the turkey tomorrow. I've also decided to try something new. This year I'm brining it. I'm using this brine. But I didn't have all the exact ingredients so I made some changes. For instance, I used apple juice instead of cider. I used table salt instead of kosher salt. I used powdered ginger instead of whole ginger. So I'm not really using that brine, I'm making it up as I go along. heh

Now I have an hour to get the heathens in the bath, into their new pj's and in the bed. Then I will undoubtedly have to read 5 or more stories before the littlest heathens go to sleep. Then I will be up half the night putting the Power Wheels that MIL sent together.

Tomorrow I will be tired and grouchy. Ah the joy of Christmas.

My 3

2004-12-24T01:00:00.000-06:00

I'm late. I finally have my 3 things.

Three names you go by

Stacy. Do not call me Stace.
Woman, this is what DH calls me. Isn't he romantic?
mom/mommy

Three screen names you have:

Snarky Tattooed Heathen
Sxyfletch
Krzykurls

Three things you like about yourself:

my sense of humor
my hair
my winning personality ;)

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:

my stomach. After having 3 c-sections, I am in desperate need of a tummy tuck.
my hair. It's a love hate relationship.
my hands. I have little, old woman hands.

Three parts of your heritage:

American. I once asked my grandma what our heritage was, she told me American.
Irish.
I am also part Native American. My grandpa's mother was 100% native American. I can't get much information out of any of my crazy family members, so I'm not positive which tribe she was from. Researching my family tree is on my to do list. So ask me again in 15 -20 years.

Three things that scare you:

the current US administration. I'm keeping Dmouse's answer because it doesn't get any scarier than that.
My children growing up. I want to keep them young forever. Well, at least a bit longer.
DH. His safety while in Iraq.

Three of your everyday essentials:

chap stick. I must have smooth soft lips.
Lotion. I'm a lotion whack. I have to apply it 70 times a day.
Ice maker. I must have ice in everything I drink. Even when it's cold outside.

Three things you are wearing right now:

t-shirt
flannel pj pants
fuzzy slippers

Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment:

I don't have a good answer to answer this. I rarely get to listen to grown up music. I'm afraid people would laugh if I put the Wiggles.

Three of your favorite songs at present:

Fang singing Fro tee no man.
Satan's version of All star. Somebody once told me the world was macaroni. heh
ABC's as sung by Satan and Fang.

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:

just saying no to Coke
water. drinking lots of it
sleeping. all night long without interruption.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):

laughter.
great sex
trust

Two truths and a lie:

I can't wait for Christmas to be done and over.
I can't wait for DH to come home
I love love love fire ants. (I must, since I blog about them all the damn time.)

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you:

Hands. Big and rough.
height. I'm only attracted to men that are taller than I am.
Girth. Skinny men do not do it for me.

Three things you just can't do:

Sing.
Keep my foot out of my mouth.
Spell.

Three of your favorite hobbies:

Reading the forums. Sadly this is #1.
Reading everything else.
watching movies

Three things you want to do really badly right now:

Put Satan to bed. She is asleep in my lap. and my left arm is falling asleep under the weight, but she will be awake as soon as I lay her down. GRRR!
Take a nice long soak in the tub.
stop coughing.

Three careers you're considering:

I'm not really considering any careers at the moment. But I want to be Wonder Woman when I grow up. Does that count as a career? Dodging bullets with snazzy gold bracelets should definitely count.

Three places you want to go on vacation:

Anywhere that isn't TX.
Anywhere outside the US. Australia, Asia, Europe etc...
I would say Hawaii, but I would prefer to just move there.

Three kids names:

Tater
Satan
Fang

Three things you want to do before you die:

Travel the world
Have a woman president.
Have half a dozen grand children.

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die a slow orgasmic death:

Cheri
Ray
Debbie

Happy Holidays!

2004-12-23T22:51:00.000-06:00

Edited to answer a question. No, I don't know if DH is in the pic, or which one he may be. The faces are too tiny. I will try to remember to ask him when we talk again. The pic came in an email from the commander. I thought it was nice, so here it is.

All I want for Christmas..............

2004-12-20T01:14:00.000-06:00

is a year long contract with Terminex.

Seriously. That is what I want. Otherwise, I figure one of two things are going to happen. I will die from inhaling ant spray, or the damn fire ants are going to eat us alive.

The most recent attack happened in Taters room. As sad as I am for Tater, I am a bit angry with him too. He knows that no food or drinks are allowed in his room. But that didn't stop him from taking a glass of sweet tea into his room. Where he proceeded to spill it on the bed. Lucky for him that sheets and blanket soaked up the sweet tea. Which he thought would leave no trace that he had broken a house rule.

Unfortunately for Tater, the sheets and blankets soaked up the sweet tea. Then Tater being the oblivious almost teen that he is didn't notice that his sheets were covered with fire ants when he hopped into bed. Then he quickly came running into the kitchen screaming about being under attack.

His sheets and blankets are in the wash, and he is sleeping on the sofa.

I've started reading up on ants. I've learned that spraying doesn't work. That it generally just makes things worse. I think I've learnt that the hard way. Since I'm still not wanting to fork over hundreds of dollars for an exterminator, I've ordered this. I shall feed them tainted treats and sing my voodoo chats and hope that they die. Every last one of them.

Although my research makes it clear that spraying isn't effective(baiting is the preferred method), Ken is coming over tomorrow to crawl around the attic. He will spray every nook and cranny in exchange for cookies.

Isn't it amazing what a few cookies will get you? Makes me wish I could pay for everything with cookies.

I am an addict.

2004-12-18T14:20:00.000-06:00

Today has been shitty. DH called to warn me that he wouldn't be calling on Christmas to wish the little heathens a Merry Christmas. He has to be a soldier for a while. Normally DH is safe considering. He puts fuel into helicopters. Meaning he isn't out wandering around the city just waiting to be attacked by insurgents. He does the regular soldier thing, but I normally don't hear about it until after the fact. Which is good because then I'm not plagued with worry. I still worry, but it doesn't put me into super worry wart mode.

So that has me on edge, and since there was no way I was going to get back to sleep. I did laundry. All the laundry. I washed it. I dried it. I folded it. I was putting it away. When I went to put my clean, dry, folded towels in the linen closet. I was surprised with fire ants crawling all over my clean, dry, folded towels and blankets. I was seething with anger. I threw the clean, dry, folded towels that I was carrying into the floor. I ran to the garage. I grabbed the fire ant poison. And I sprayed it all over my clean, dry, folded, put away blankets and towels. I was also screaming profanities. Lots of profanities.

My poor children were in the living room, peaking around the corner. They were thinking to themselves, "Mommy is crazy! She needs to seek professional help, and soon!" Fang finally broke the silence with "Ants! Bad!" heh

Now I literally have a mountain of laundry to wash (half a dozen times to get the poison out), dry, fold and put away. Instead of starting with that. I loaded up the kids in the van. I drove to 7-11. I purchased a cold 12 pack of Coke. I drove home. I put Fang down for his nap. I put in a movie for Tater and Satan.

I now sit here drinking a glass full of icy cold bubbly brown goodness. Thinking to myself, it's a damn good think that I don't much like the taste of alcohol, or I would have been an alcoholic months ago.

Voo Doo

2004-12-16T06:38:00.000-06:00

CJ is such a good friend, she sent me voodoo dolls. That's right plural. Dolls.

Now my evil 'die fire ants die' voo doo chants should work. heh

fucking fire ants

2004-12-15T01:50:00.000-06:00

I swear, I've become obsessed with the damn vacuum cleaner. I run it 2 - 3 times a day. But today I missed something. A tiny piece of chocolate covered pretzel. It was smaller than a dime. Within mere hours I have fucking ants crawling all over the carpet. Maybe Santa will bring me a barrel of ant poison.

kindred spirit

2004-12-11T01:05:00.000-06:00

I've found my long lost twin. heh

She writes. ( I assume the author is a she) In fits of rage I can be seen screaming and shouting while squirting the little beasts to death. Sure it might seem childish but after having lived with this epidemic for so long a bit of revenge seems long overdue.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

2004-12-10T23:23:00.000-06:00

That was me yelling at the damn fire ants again.

I can not get rid of them. I've bought two different types of spray, both are supposed to leave your house fire ant free for up to 9 months. Oh how they lie. Stupid advertisements.

I hate using pesticide in the house unless absolutely necessary. Sadly, I've gone through almost 2 gallons of poison. I hate that. I feel like I'm harming myself and my children by using this shit in the house. But how the hell else am I going to get rid of these evil pest?

I thought I had finally said good riddance to them. I thought wrong! Tonight when I was reading Satan her good night story. She looked up and said, "what's that in my light?"

It was fucking fire ants. They were crawling around in the ceiling light. I said bad words. Lots and lots of bad words. Then I put Satan and Fang into my bed, so I could spray their room. Again! This time making sure to spray around the ceiling light fixture, and the air vent just for good measure. Now their bed room door is shut. Several windows are open to try to air out the house. I'm freezing because it's cold outside, and I'm a wimp. And my throat feels weird. I'm super careful to not inhale the shit, and I wash like crazy after spraying it. But I can smell it. That's what makes me crazy, makes me think that my throat is going to close up.

I hate using pesticide! But I hate fire ants more, I think.

Never ask, "what else can go wrong?"

2004-12-09T11:09:00.000-06:00

The story begins Sunday, when I fucked up my computer. Yet again. Lucky for me, I was able to call Dell tech support. Where Mark ~~flirted with me for an hour~~ walked me through reinstalling XP. At the time I was over joyed because my computer was up and running. Perfectly. Then I stayed up way too late chatting with Denine and Evil Amy. The next day I was grouchy and tired. As you can probably guess, my day started out not so good, but I just had to go and make it worse.

I did that by watching Last Letters Home. I shouldn't have watched. Not at this point in time anyway. Afterwards it really hit me hard that I had lost all the emails that DH has send since he has left. I had saved everyone. My plan was to someday print them all, and add them to the box. The box is a box (duh) where I keep all the letters, cards etc that DH sends. Considering that I was tired, grouchy and feeling a bit depressed about Christmas. It was too much. I was sadder than I think I have ever been.

Just the day before DH called, and I promised that I would send him Christmas cookies and Buckeyes. I wasn't in the Chritsmasy mood considering, but since I promised Satan that we would bake cookies and make candy on Monday. I kept my promise. Which ended up being another mistake. Somehow, I was so immersed in making cookies and candy, and my own thoughts that I forgot Tater. I've never done that before. Ever.

Mondays and Tuesdays, Tater stays after school for tutoring. He is there until 4:15 at which point I pick him up. I'm usually there at 4:05, and I wait for him. However, this past Monday, I was in the kitchen covered with icing and chocolate instead of at the school picking up my child. I was in the kitchen covering the cookies with icing and sprinkles, when I heard a knock on the door. It startled me because I wasn't expecting any guest or packages for that matter. So I hesitantly go to the door, where I see Tater crying.

I ask, "What's wrong? Where have you been?"

He sobs, " I was waiting for you at school. I was scared and started walking home because you didn't come get me." He points to my neighbor across the street, "she brought me home."

OMG, I felt this big. How could I have forgotten him like that? It's several days later, and I still feel bad about it.

Then on Tuesday, I had the cookies and candy all packed up nicely in glad ware, I doubt DH will get them in time for Christmas, but i can hope. I make the mistake of going to ~~hell~~ the post office. I hate going to ~~hell~~ the post office. There were exactly two people in front of me, yet I was there, standing in line with a heavy box and two squirmy anxious children, for 40 minutes. Because postal workers are hella slow.

By the time I left the post office, I was incredibly frustrated. When I opened the hatch on the van, to put the stroller in the back. I pulled the handle off. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Apparently, I have super human strength. However, that did little to amuse it. Instead it pissed me off. Now I will have to take the van to the dealership, where I will be forced to sit for hours with two squirmy kids to have the damn thing fixed. After getting the little heathens into their car seats and putting the stroller in the floor. I was thinking what else could go wrong, when I jerked the drivers side door open and whacked myself in the head. I'm still sporting a lovely purple knot just over my eye.

stupid blogger

2004-12-08T08:11:00.000-06:00

Just the other day. Yesterday to be exact. I had typed up a nice long entry. Only to have blogger eat it. Damn you blogger.

Lesson learnt. Always copy/paste entries to word and save before hitting post on blogger.

2004-12-05T08:38:00.000-06:00

Now, can you all look at me? Please? Pretty, pretty please?

2004-12-05T08:37:00.000-06:00

Fang move over towards Tater.

2004-12-05T08:36:00.000-06:00

Tater sit up straight, and get your hand out of your sleve.

2004-12-05T08:35:00.000-06:00

Fang look up.

Join me in a happy dance.

2004-12-01T07:57:00.000-06:00

Because last night all the little heathens stayed in their own beds until morning. WOO HOO!

On this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for ........

2004-11-26T02:08:00.000-06:00

DH. He loves me more than anything and treats me amazingly well. I bitch about him from time to time, but I couldn't have chosen a better partner to spend my life with.

Tater, Satan and Fang. They are a handful and a half, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. When I'm not pulling my hair out, I'm basking in the love and joy that they bring to my life. Plus, they give me lots of good blog material.

My family. Even though their only goal in life is to make me say bad words. On the rare occasion, when the planets are properly aligned, I do enjoy their company.

Stealing this from Shelly, I'm thankful that GWB won't be able to run for president again.

Last but not least, I'm thankful for my friends. Both online and in real life. This deployment has been a bitch. If it wasn't for their kindness and support, I would not be the mostly sane, sometimes rational person that you see.

The holiday and family

2004-11-26T01:50:00.000-06:00

I was sort of, kind of sad. I was not in a festive, celebrating mood. I really miss DH. He is very into Thanksgiving and Christmas. He really chips in and takes an active role in the holiday celebrations. So him not being here is rough. Luckily things went better today than expected.

Barbie and Ken invited us over for diner. Which was great. I tried to make a contribution. I took rolls, cranberry salad and white chocolate raspberry swirl cheesecake. But Barbie did the hard work. She made all sorts of delicious food, and cleaned up the mess. I left their house feeling stuffed carrying a bag full of leftovers. Yummy!

After we came home, I called my grandma's house. They ate late this year since a few family members had to work earlier in the day. I was able to talk to a dozen or so relatives. People that I see at most once a year. I sort of missed them. I'm sure I only feel that way because I'm not there. If I were there I would be hating it. Some one would have pissed me off, then I would have bitched about it until Christmas. Just in time for the wonderful Christmas family get to gather at grandmas house. Where some one else would piss me off. Then it would start all over.

After I got off the phone with my family, I let Tater and Satan call the in-laws. Well, they argued over who was going to be the one that called. I had to act quick and make a decision, who is going to talk first. Eenie meenie miney mo is how I chose the lucky heathen. Will they still respect me as an adult now? heh

DH's sister answered and Satan hung up on her because she didn't want to talk to a stranger she wanted to talk to Nana or Gramps. After explaining about forty times that it was Aunt S and not a stranger, we called back. Satan then talked for about 30 minutes. Refusing to give the phone to Tater. Her reason. Tater was sick and couldn't talk. He does have a bit of a cold or allergies going on, but he is able to speak. He did finally get a turn to talk, but he isn't the talker that Satan is. His conversation lasted maybe 10 minutes.

Then it was my turn to talk. Marie was very cordial. She must be taking her meds again. I just wish she could be like this all the time. For the sake of all of us.

boobies

2004-11-26T01:39:00.000-06:00

I am still nursing Fang, but I'm doing it begrudgingly. I am so done. I no longer want to nurse him. However, he is still very much attached, and has no desire to quit. Weaning is not going quite as easy as I had hoped it would.

In my effort to wean him, he has became obsessed with 'boobies'. He now points out 'boobies' anywhere and every where. When we go out in public, he will point to women with larger breast. With a large grin on his face he will say, "Boobie. See it. Boobie."

I try to pretend that I don't know what he has said. While secretly wishing that strangers can't make out his words. But Satan being the ever helpful big sister, wants to make sure that I don't ignore Fang. She will generally say, "Mommy, Bubba is talking to you. He saw a boobie."

But it gets better. Satan has a collection of Disney Princess books. Fang has claimed The Little Mermaid book as his because Ariel has 'boobies'.

Today, I was mean and ignored his request to nurse. I would hand him a sippy cup and pretend to not hear the whining. But this evening he became restless and whiney, so I gave in and let him nurse. When I lifted up my shirt he said, "Ahhhhhhh, tank ou!"

I think I made his day. heh

Chritsmas is coming

2004-11-23T11:46:00.000-06:00

I finally started on my ornaments. I've decided on a western/cowboy theme. I think they look pretty good considering how not crafty I am.

Frosty the little heathen

2004-11-21T21:41:00.000-06:00

I shall soon be bald from pulling out my hair. We have had rain, rain and more rain for the past week. Yesterday we not only had rain, we had hail and power outages. This is not good, take the kids outside to play, weather. My three heathens are getting cabin fever, and in the process they are driving me insane.

Tonight I put them to bed at 8:30. Tater was quietly reading in his bed. This is not a problem. Satan and Fang on the other hand decided to throw match box cars at each other, instead of going to sleep. This is a big problem. I confiscated the match box cars. Then I tucked the littlest heathens in. Again.

Shortly after that, I hear knocking. Tater hears it to, so he runs out of his room very panicked because he think that he hears something outside. Satan and Fang were not panicked. Because they were kicking the wall and giggling. I separate them, Putting them each into their own bed, and once again I tuck them in.

At this point I'm feeling optimistic, and think that I am finally going to get to relax. So I sit down. I have my glass of icy cold Coke and the remote. I am going to sit in the Lazy Boy, and watch Desperate Housewives. With no distractions. That was my plan. In case I haven't told you yet. I am in love with the person that invited DVR!

Anyway, I watched up to the part that shows the young gardener shirtless. Then I was rudely interrupted by Satan and Fang running through the living room. Giggling. I snatch them up, one under each arm. I carried them to their room, and once again I tucked them in. At this point I'm becoming quite angry. The can sense that my patience has ran out. So they stay in bed. But they cry.

I am mean, angry and frustrated so I ignore them. Well, for a few minutes. Until I hear really loud, exaggerated whining and crying. At this point I am very frustrated, so I scream, "Why are you still awake? What could possibly be wrong with you now?"

I hear a little voice whine, "I'm melting."

Melting? WTH is she talking about? I am confused. So I stomp down the hallway to see whats wrong. Satan is sobbing. I comfort her until she is able to talk in he big girl voice. Then I ask again. "what is wrong with you? Why are you crying?" Only this time I was calm.

She wipes her cheek, and says, "I'm melting." sob sob sob, "just like Frosty did."

I couldn't stay mad after that.

Karma jumped up and bit me in that ass.

2004-11-14T15:00:00.000-06:00

This is just one of the many exciting things that happened while DH was here. Since I was playing the role of attentive wife and mother, I wasn't able to blog it sooner. heh

It was a normal morning shower. I washed my face, and washed my hair. I stepped out of the shower onto a towel to begin my morning primping in front of the mirror. AKA slathering on the Frizz Ease. When I felt an all too familiar bite, but this time it was on my ass. I yelled out a few profanities, as I squished the ant. Then I felt several bites on my feet. The goddamn ants had mounted an attack in my bathroom. I believe that this is a result of me invading their little part of my yard with fire ant granules and evil voodoo chants. These evil creatures are out for revenge, and I am their target.

I could feel them crawling all over me. I was smacking myself all over. Then I ran through the house naked. Yelling at DH, "get these fucking ants off of me!" Being his ever helpful self, he was more than happy to squish the ants dead. Meaning he was laughing his ass off while smacking me. I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was not pleased. I now have roughly 20 ant bites on various body parts. I am crabby from the uncontrollable itching, and I've already used up half a tube of cortisone.

Later that day, DH sprayed bug spray around the perimeter of the bathroom. Then I had the fun job of cleaning up the ant carcass. As sick as that was, I was over joyed that the bathroom was once again ant free. The ant battle was won. I was triumphant. A celebration was needed. A cake was baked. A cake that was put into a cake saver with a lid, to keep out pesky things like ants.

On Friday morning DH decided to have a farewell piece of celebration cake. In our haste to get to the airport on time, he made the unfortunate mistake of not putting the lid on tightly. Apparently the ants are still plotting my demise. While we were away from the house they mounted another attack.

When we returned home, I was a bit depressed. Saying goodbye is rough. I was in need of a caffeine/sugar high. I though an icy cold coke and a piece of cake would fix me right up. I poured myself a glass of coke. I was all set to cut a big slice of cake, when I felt that all too familiar pain. The little buggers were all over my hand. That's right, my the ants are dead celebration cake was covered with ants. They bit my arm and my hand.

I have purchased more ant poison. If this does not work. I will be forced to call in the big guns.

Yesterday we said our good byes :(

2004-11-13T14:19:00.000-06:00

Here are some random pics from yesterday.

Tater isn't the best picture taker.

2004-11-13T14:15:00.001-06:00

My daddy can't catch me.

2004-11-13T14:15:00.000-06:00

A star. A star. See it? A star.

2004-11-13T14:12:00.000-06:00

My boys.

2004-11-13T14:10:00.000-06:00

Aren't we cute? heh

sigh

2004-11-09T03:11:00.000-06:00

Found out that DH would be in Fallujah right now if he wasn't on R&R. I should feel relieved, but I don't. He only has a few days left. This saddens me because I'm afraid for him. He is going back to a worse place than he left.

That, and I'm not ready for him to leave. It's been so nice just to have him here. I'm not looking forward to the next few months. I already miss him. :(

Halloween

2004-10-31T16:55:00.000-06:00

I am a bootiful princess.

2004-10-31T16:53:00.000-06:00

Sadly this is the best picture that I have of Fang.

Halloween

2004-10-31T16:32:00.000-06:00

DH and I took the little heathens trick or treating last night. DH was into Halloween for the first time. Ever. He normally doesn't get into dressing up or haunted houses or any of that fun stuff.
I assume it's because he grew up in BFE and never got the chance to go trick or treating as a kid. But in his zest to please the little heathens he dressed up like a cowboy. This excited Satan. She had to repeat about a million times, "my daddy is a cowboy".

I'm boring, and didn't dress up. I did wear an orange t-shirt with Happy Halloween and a black cat on it. That has to count for something.

Satan was a ghetto princess. She wore the dress that I made for her last year. Last year she looked so cute. This year the dress was looking ragged, and wouldn't stay up on her shoulder. It's all my fault, because I ignorantly let her play dress up in it about a week ago. She basically destroyed it, but of course I didn't realize this until yesterday. It could have been repaired, but I ran out of time.

Fang was a frog. He looked so cute. Every other day of the year with out prompting he will say frog. Then immediately begin to hop around and say ribbet. When I put the frog costume on him the only thing he would say was candy and thank you. I tried every thing. I bribed him with candy. At one point I even jumped around and said ribbet myself. He is stubborn.

Tater was a ninja. I have no picture of him in his costume. He went to a Halloween/slumber party, and I missed out on my picture taking opportunity.

Airport pictures.

2004-10-31T14:13:00.000-06:00

Why am I here?

2004-10-31T14:12:00.000-06:00

I'm really happy, but I'm pretending to be bashful.

2004-10-31T14:11:00.000-06:00

I'm so very happy that I'm picking up my dad today.

2004-10-31T14:10:00.000-06:00

Don't look at my head. I know my hair line is receding.

Da plane! Da plane!

2004-10-27T18:49:00.000-05:00

DH lucked out, and was able to take an earlier flight. We picked him up at the airport this morning.

It was so good to see him. Right now we are all big smiling fools.

You will see very few blog entires from me in the next two weeks.

Velcro mode

2004-10-26T01:50:00.000-05:00

This is a few days late, but I forgot to publish it. Enjoy.

I'm desperately trying to give the impression that I have managed perfectly while DH has been deployed. In my haste to clean the house, I was vacuuming. Really vacuuming. Using the attachments around the baseboards, and everything. Fang AKA Velcro baby sometimes has an uncontrollable urge to grab my legs and hold on for dear life. He generally gets hit with these urges when I am immersed in something that does not require giving him attention. Such as washing the dishes or vacuuming the hallway.

The dish washing tackles aren't so bad. I'm stationary, and have the support of the counter. However today, he was hit 'I must touch my mama now' urge while I was mindlessly vacuuming.

One minute I hear Satan and Fang loudly playing and singing. The next thing I know is that Fang has suddenly warped into Velcro mode and my legs are under attack.

I am slow.

He attacked.

I tripped.

I tried to brace myself and avoid landing on Fang all at the same time. Some how I managed to hit my foot into the door frame. It hurt. A lot. I cursed. A lot.

Fang laughed, clapped and said, "good job".

I wanted to laugh with him, but my foot was throbbing. I had to sit down. My pinky toe was no longer pointing in the same direction as my other 9 toes. It was bent to the side. And it hurt. I pushed my toe back to where it was meant to be. Then I cured some more. A lot more.

Now I have a lovely purple foot. That hurts like a bitch. It would have probably been less purple if I hadn't mowed the grass. Am I a dumbass or what?

Written 10-26-04 published 10-31-04.

The count down begins.

2004-10-26T01:23:00.000-05:00

I thought I would have heard from him sooner, but DH finally called today. I was happy to hear that he made it to Kuwait in one piece. He will be flying out of Kuwait sometime soon. Next time I hear from him, he should be in Dallas. When will that be? Sometime between now and Friday.